And maybe now I can actually help him get better?
One thing is certain. Tomorrow, I will prepare the most amazing excursion for him. Safe but exciting. Nothing will go wrong. I will gently pry him out of his shell, and if I play my cards right, I might even pull off the pizza.
Chapter 25
Nate
Iknow this kind of thing happens to people, I just could never imagine being afraid to step past a threshold myself. Yet here I am, frozen at the top of the narrow staircase leading back to the library.
Tristan’s reaching for my hand, and his presence here is the proof that the steps won’t collapse under my weight, but within those past weeks my sanctuary has become a prison. Yes, the bars are entirely in my head, but that doesn’t make them feel any less real.
As much as I hate to admit it, maybe I did need Tristan to invade my space and mess up the comfortable routine of reading, napping, and giving Lady belly rubs? Because Sabine was right. I’ve grown complacent and forgot all about my purpose. And if I am to break the bond and maybe establish a new kind of relationship with Tristan once it’s all over, I need to act.
And let’s face it, I amnottraveling to some strange elven astronomer if I can’t even make it to the stables.
“I’m sorry,” I mumble, taking my hand away from Tristan for the third time now. I feel as if the floor is going to collapse under me the moment I step outside, and so far reason has not helped me get over those ridiculous fears.
“It’s all right. We have all the time in the world. Lunch will be served when we get there.”
I exhale, peeking back at the safe haven I let the servants craft for me. All this discomfort could be avoided by staying, but Tristan’s made arrangements for me, and even brought me a set of obscenely tight leathers meant for kelpie-riding. I wasn’t entirely sure about putting them on at first, but after Sabine reassured me the outfit really is meant to prevent the skin from sticking to the kelpie, I relented.
And now here I am, with the man who last night dashed from the other side of the room to comfort me after a bad dream.
I don’t know why I didn’t want him around, when he makes me feel so safe. It’s madness that he, aprince, spent weeks in squalor, living inside my walls just to keep an eye on me. I believe him that it wasn’t for creepy reasons. Which is maybe a mistake on my part, but he is irresistible.
He promised not to flirt, and he’s kept his word, but that hasn’t stopped him from changing in my presence.
I’ve had inklings of desire here and there since being saved from Gloombane. For the first weeks of recovery, it was the last thing on my mind, but yesterday, when I got a clear view of his arms, his pecs, his chiseled stomach, silky red hair sliding down his shoulders… I needed to excuse myself and go to bed. I lie there sweating and frustrated because I wouldn’t let myself jerk off while he wasright there.
And when I woke up deep in the night, with the image of Gloombane’s bleeding eyeholes still imprinted at the backsof my lids, I found myself struggling when he came to offer comfort. Because I knew that if I invited him to bed, I would end up with his hot cum inside me. And that is simply… it would make things way too complicated. I need to focus on my goal and then—only then—consider Tristan’s offer of marriage. If it’s even still on the table.
“This is so pathetic,” I mumble, leaning against the doorframe. “What’s wrong with me? Do you have a potion of courage?”
“That’s not how it works, sweetheart—”
He stops talking when I frown at him. “We’re friends now.”
Tristan doesn’t miss a beat. “I will be with you every step of the way. Lady is already downstairs. We have a day ofsafeandvery calmadventure ahead of us.” He holds his hand out patiently and smiles as if I didn’t yell at him last night.
I exhale, and a brief flash of memory passes through my mind. My first day learning how to ride a bike, and my gramps running after me with his fingers tight at the back of my seat. “Were you always this patient?” I ask softly.
“Oh, no. I was a very impatient child. But at twenty, Prince Kyranis was born and I became his royal guard. Of course, he was in no way my sole responsibility, but it definitely shifted my priorities. And now I’ve had Lady for a while. She’s stubborn, but I managed to teach her quite a few tricks.”
“Really? And you didn’t show me?” I ask, feeling hurt. I gave my life to save her and I didn’t even know she could do tricks?
“I will show you downstairs,” he teases, wiggling his fingers as if to coax me out.
Bastard.
But he might have found the key to my self-imposed cell, because I squeeze his fingers and finally place my foot on the step below. My body shifts, following his, and just like that, I’m out of my rooms.
I’m on the stairs leading to the library, and the world did not end.
I grin at Tristan, then sob as tears fill my eyes. It’s embarrassing, and I’m about to retreat in shame when he pulls my face onto his shoulder and bathes me in that exquisite scent. Smoked fern. Salt. Leather.
I don’t think I could exist without this aroma anymore.
“It’s all right.” He doesn’t call me ‘sweetheart’ or kiss my head, just holds me close as if he’s my sanctuary.
