“Yes. They really helped me. I am…steadier than I was. Not perfect. I was struggling before you found me in the bathroom. But I…didn’t have any suicidal urges or thoughts.”
“I’m sorry you were hurting, but thank you for sharing. I’m always here for you. Hollis and Sandro, too. All three of you are mine, and I will do whatever it takes to make sure you’re okay.”
“You promise?”
“I promise. When Hollis is out of the medical wing, I’ll even stand by your side when you talk to him, if you want? That’s how much I mean it. I’ll be there as you and your Master and Papa Bear find your footing again. Nothing you ask of me is too much, Lio. Just like nothing you ask of your Owner is too much. I know he hurt you, and that’s something you’re going to have to work out with him, but you don’t have to do it alone.”
“You really think we’ll be okay? That my Angel will forgive me?” He sounds so lost and vulnerable, I can’t help but pull him into my arms.
“He will. But you two need to talk, really talk. And listen. Don’t worry about it now, though. You have time to take some space away from each other and reevaluate what you mean to one another.”
“And you’ll be there, right?”
“Always, Baby Boy. Always.”
I hold him in my arms for a while, until his tears dry against my skin as he keeps his face buried in my throat. Finally, when he’s soft and quiet again, I press a kiss to his hair.
“Daddy got you a present, Baby Boy. Do you want it?”
He pulls away, his eyes big. “A present?”
“Yes. I think you deserve it after your hard day.”
“Please, Daddy!” He bounces a little in my lap.
“Okay, sit on the bed for a moment.” I slide him off me and go over to the closet, grabbing one of the bags I stashed on the top shelf—clothes for my Baby Boy weren’t the only things I ordered recently.
I hand the bag to Lio, and watch with amusement as he excitedly grabs it and pulls his present out.
“A monster!” he cries, hugging the purple plushie to him.
“Little Boys need stuffies, and I thought it was the perfect companion for my Little Monster.”
“It’s perfect, Daddy!” He pets one of the yellow horns. “I love it. Thank you!” He hops into my arms, and I hold him and his new friend close.
“I love you, Emilio.”
He hugs me a little tighter. “Love you too, Best Daddy Ever.”
Always.
I have no idea what I’m doing as a Daddy, but I’ll always be whatever Emilio needs.
Another door. Another feeling that I’m on the edge of a cliff. That I’ll either embrace fate or turn away. Although fuck if I know what the right decision is anymore. Still, maybe Anderson was right, and the person on the other side is the best one to talk to about this shit.
Knocking on the door, I wait to be told I can enter. Even if I feel like it’s at my own peril… Thankfully, I’m not left waiting. Taking a deep breath, I walk in, and my eyes quickly fall on a familiar figure. One who always seemed so full of life, a commanding presence, and my heart sinks when I realize…fuck, I don’t even recognize him anymore.
“Benjamin. This is a surprise. Is there something I can do for you?”
“Uh, yes. It was suggested you may have some insight.”
“Me?” The surprise is so genuine that I almost cry, and I suddenly understand Anderson’s point. As far as I’ve fallen… As unsure as I’ve been about myself… There’s another person going through the same journey.
“Yeah, Allesandro,” I say softly. “I think you might be the right person to help me.”
“Please, call me Sandro.” His stiff words belie an ocean of pain, and it's one I understand. It’s drops of past regrets that soon become a ferocious tide, one neither of us knows how to tread, much less survive.
I sigh, and take the seat across from him. We’re in a small office. Although I have no idea what he does in here, it’s at least familiar. Deciding I need to be honest, I reply, “I’d prefer to stay with Allesandro. It’s not to hurt you. It’s what I’m comfortable with, and…I think we may both be doing the same thing.”
