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Billy nodded. “Gives you more control and power.”
“Have you been doing this long?” Noah asked, adjusting his hold again.
“Been a member for a little over eighteen months. Medically discharged from the Rangers about three years ago.” He lifted his shirt up his ribs, revealing a large swath of twisted and mottled scarring. Billy dropped the shirt again and gestured for Noah’s ankle so he could try the hold. “Total snafu. Ended up with second and third-degree burns over forty per cent of my body.” He wrapped his arms around Noah’s ankle. “Tap when it starts to hurt,” he said.
His opponent turned on the power and started to lean back. Noah tapped his hand against the mat. “Shit.”
“Right?” Billy winked. “See the difference?”
“Yeah,” Noah said. “Do that again.” Billy pinned him in the lock quick and tight, and then Noah tried it again, feeling like he had even more power and control this time.
“So what’s your damage?” Billy asked.
The casual way Billy had showed his scars and shared his story encouraged Noah to do the same. “IED caused a severe TBI which took my hearing and most of my sight on this side,” he said, pointing to his head.
“Shit. Life’s a goddamned full-contact sport, ain’t it?”
“Roger that,” Noah said, feeling more and more comfortable here despite the talking and sharing he’d done.
The rest of the choke hold and joint lock session went that way, with Billy giving him pointers and the two of them chatting. The guy had apparently parlayed his military career into private investigating, which had Noah wondering how to translate his skills into something in the civilian world. One thing at a time, though. Right?
“Okay,” Coach Mack said a while later. “One team at a time will go into the rings for sparring matches refereed by Hawk and Colby. The rest of you will divide into two teams for a grappling match drill. Hunter and Cortez, you’ll need to watch these from the sidelines until you get your memberships finalized.”
“Good working with you,” Billy said as he rose. They tapped gloves again.
“You, too,” Noah said, frustrated at being benched even though he understood why.
And that frustration only grew as, for the next forty-five minutes, he was forced to cool his heels while others competed in the grappling match or sparred in the rings. He thought about leaving, but he didn’t want to come off as throwing some kind of temper tantrum. Besides, he knew enough from years of wrestling to know you could learn a lot by studying other fighters.
Still, sitting there made him restless and anxious, and soon he felt that pressure growing inside his chest again. It didn’t help that the earlier exercises already had his adrenaline pumping.
By the time class was over, he was itching to get out of there. Because he liked everyone he’d met so far, and no way did he want to make anything but a good impression. He wasn’t pulling another public meltdown. Not in front of these guys, fuck you very much.
As Noah was jamming his feet back into his sneakers, Mack came up to him. “So, what did you think of your first time?”
“Liked it,” Noah said. “Made me feel…more focused than I have in a while.”
“That’s what I like to hear,” Mack said, smiling. They clasped hands. “I’ll see you on Tuesday then?”
Noah nodded, antsy to get out of there even though he liked Mack a lot. “Yeah. With my paperwork ready to go.”
“Good man.” Mack made his way through the group to Tara.
“Hey,” someone said tapping his arm. Noah turned to find Mo towering over him—not something he was used to experiencing. “Want to come grab a drink? A group of us usually goes out after class.”
The tightness in Noah’s chest had him worried about chancing it. “Not sure I’m up for it tonight,” Noah said. “Next time, though, count me in.”
“You got it,” Mo said. They clasped hands and the big guy pulled him in for a quick, one-shouldered embrace. “You opened yourself up a lot today, Noah. Don’t be surprised if that throws you off center a little bit.” Mo handed him a card. “You need anything—even to talk—before Tuesday’s class, don’t hesitate to call.”
Frowning, Noah nodded. Throw him off, as in even more? For fuck’s sake. “Thanks, Mo.”
The car ride was quiet and solitary. He’d been around people way more than usual today, and that made him feel even more alone than he normally did. A heaviness settled over him as he approached his apartment complex, and all he could think about was grabbing a quick shower and falling into bed. It was as if the whole day—the classes, the panic attack, sharing parts of himself he normally didn’t—had overloaded his mind and the only fix was to reboot by going to sleep.
As a soft rain started to fall, Noah parked and got out of the Explorer, and then found himself doing a double take. Because he was parked right next to Kristina’s car. Hope surged through him. She hadn’t gone on the date, after all. So glad he hadn’t gone out with the club, he glanced up toward his apartment. The lights were all dark…
Confused, he frowned. And then dread snaked down Noah’s spine.
No.
