‘Becoming an influencer is a bit like entering a Faustian pact,’ she said. ‘You might make a good living – you probably get to do cool stuff you’ve never even dreamed of – but you can end up feeling like the social platforms, or your followers, own you … Like you owe them something. If you’re not careful, you begin living life for the sake of creating good content, rather than doing goodthings. That’s why I’ve stepped back from it.’
‘That makes sense.’ Rachel nodded. ‘What do you think of the idea that influencers have a responsibility to the people who follow them? That they shouldn’t, for instance, promote products that might be considered harmful?’
‘Hm. Not a Jessica fan, I take it?’ Sophie whispered. Rachel coloured.
‘Off the record,’ Sophie said in a low voice, ‘I think she’s been naive, but also let down by her handlers. I got mixed up with Angeljuice when I was in my early twenties – they pay big money and it’s hard to say no when they want a new face. But we’re in a different time now … Diet pills were never going to go down well in some of the communities she’s part of. That doesn’t justify what’s happened to her, though. She’s had death threats, apparently; really awful, graphic stuff. Nobody deserves that, no matter what shit they’ve been daft enough to advertise.’
Rachel looked across the room to the studio area again. Sophie had a point, but Tom was helping Jessica up from the floor and seeing her touching him made Rachel’s palms itch.
She wanted to go and yank him away from her – several miles away, if necessary.
‘Looks like it’s my turn for photos,’ Sophie said. ‘Do you have enough ramblings from me to write what you need?’
‘Definitely,’ Rachel said. ‘Thanks. And all the best with acting – I have a feeling you’re going to be great.’
As Sophie walked away, Jessica came towards her.
‘Can I get you anything to drink before we start?’ Rachel asked.
She remembered telling Anna that if she ever saw Jessica again, she’d pour a drink over her head. Now it came to it, she was offering to make her a cuppa.
‘Tea would be great,’ Jessica said. Her voice sounded nothing like Rachel had thought it would. Jessica spoke in a high, girlish tone – not the deep, husky murmur that Rachel’s mind had seemingly made up. She had a similar accent to Anna’s too: spiky, authentic East London, rather than the smooth received pronunciation her image implied.
‘Milk? Sugar?’
‘Just a bit, and two please.’
Rachel smiled tightly, then walked away in the direction of the kettle.
The interview was forced and uncomfortable, and not merely because Rachel kept wishing she could disappear. Jessica seemed reluctant to say much about herself, her public profile or social media in general.
‘Dev’ll give you something to put with my picture,’ she said.
‘You wantDevto put words in your mouth?’
‘It’s probably for the best. He’ll know the right thing to say, which I never do. People generally don’t believe this, but I’ve never been all that confident. I’m just good at playing the diva when there’s a camera pointed at me.’
‘Right,’ Rachel muttered. She was shocked, but – based on what she’d seen today – this had the ring of truth.
‘Do I know you, by the way?’ Jessica asked. ‘I feel like we’ve met before. I’m sorry if we have and you thought I was being rude.’
Damn, damn, damn.
‘I think maybe we were at uni together,’ Rachel answered, after failing to think of a convincing lie. ‘Did you go to York?’
‘Yes, that’s it.’ Jessica nodded, her eyes a little brighter. ‘I remember you now. I think we were in the same seminar group once. You were one of the people who always had opinions.’ She said this smilingly, without a trace of sarcasm.
Rachel had no memory of ever being in the same room as her. But if Jessica never spoke in class, why would she?
‘It’s coming back to me now,’ Jessica said. ‘You used to go around with that good-looking guy – the one who had a different girl on his arm every five minutes.’
She smiled at Rachel as if they were partners in some conspiracy.
‘You always seemed so sorted, though – too smart to have your heart broken. I had a thing with him, but only for one night … He really wasn’t boyfriend material! God, what was hisname?’
Suddenly Rachel felt as if she’d had a cool glass of something chucked overherhead. Jessica didn’t remember her as Jack’s girlfriend … She remembered her as too smart to have been Jack’s girlfriend. It was an irony that stung.
And there was something else: Jack had always said that Jessica pursued him despite knowing he was taken – flirted with him for months, then talked him into bed when he was drunk and distressed after arguing with Rachel. Based on what Jessica had just said, there was no way that was true. All at once Rachel wasn’t sure why she’d ever thought it might be. But hadn’t Jack repeated his ten-year-old story when they’d first argued about working on the Lighthouse account?
