Unable to argue with this, Rachel nodded. Will passed her another pink G&T and she popped the gin-soaked raspberry garnish into her mouth, chewing it slowly in order to avoid saying anything.
‘It’s a bit of a piss-take, this happening at the same time as that busty type’s started turning up on buses, isn’t it?’ Will observed, in a surprise intervention.
Anna gave him a look that said:YOU’RE CRAP AT THIS, SHUT UP IMMEDIATELY.
‘It kind of is, isn’t it?’ Rachel murmured, suddenly more inclined to see the funny side than she’d been all day. Anna was still staring murderously at Will in defence of her friend’s presumed sensitivities, while Tom looked agog at this sudden decision to wade in.
‘I mean, if you were superstitious, you could almost see this as …a sign,’ Will went on, encouraged by Rachel’s agreement and finishing his point in dramatic fashion, his tone reminiscent of Mystic Meg.
Anna threw a half-melted ice cube at his head.
‘A sign of what?’ Tom asked, his eyebrows drawn together. ‘Are you saying this is God’s way of telling Rachel this arsehole belongs in her life? That they’re star-crossed lovers or something?’
At this, Rachel choked slightly on a slurp of gin.
Anna patted her on the back. ‘It’s not a sign ofanything,’ she said with conviction. ‘There are no signs. There is no force ordering the universe: everything’s random, even stuff that feels like it can’t be.’
‘But what about—’ Will began.
Anna’s thunderous expression killed the question before it was fully formed.
‘It’suswho make stories, find connections, forge links between totally disparate events. We do it to suit our own agendas,’ she decreed. She had resorted to using her Teacher Voice, so everyone understood that the matter was now closed.
‘Busty, though, mate.Busty?!’ Tom suddenly burst out. ‘I haven’t heard that word since I was about fifteen. Anna, next time you’re at ours I strongly suggest you check under his bed for old issues ofRazzlemagazine.’
Later, as Will and Tom chatted to Nick, the pub’s landlord, Anna asked Rachel all the questions she’d held back while the men were within earshot.
‘So hit me: Is Jack still a heartbreaker or have the years been unkind? Does he have the receding hairline he so richly deserves?’
Rachel shook her head bitterly. ‘Far from it. He looks almost the same. Possibly better, bearing in mind he now wears a suit instead of a student-newspaper hoodie.’
‘Damn it. Should have known it was too much to hope that he’d turn into a troll.’
‘Waytoo much,’ Rachel agreed.
‘And did you … were you … interested?Affected?’
Rachel cringed. ‘Anna, within a few minutes of him being introduced to the staff I got an IM from a colleague who was already picturing him naked. Even I’m not sure how he does it – but pretty much everyone in the office was “affected”.’
‘Way to dodge the question, Rach.’
‘I’m not dodging! I’m just not sure what you’re asking me.’
‘I’m asking if you, personally, felt anything. Not necessarily the earth moving, but … a spark. An atmosphere.Chemistry. Anything that might signal I need to question your sanity, or should start preparing to stage an intervention.’
‘Don’t be ridiculous. I spent most of the day feeling physically sick at the sight of him or wishing he’d fall into a big hole. Then, when he told me he was sorry and he’d changed andblah blah blah, I made it very clear that I’ve filed him under A for Arsehole. Permanently.’
‘Good,’ Anna said. ‘Just … keep your wits about you while you work out what to do next. We wouldn’t want him charming his way back into your in-tray. By which I mean, your knickers.’
‘Anna!’ Rachel screeched in outrage, feeling her insides lurch at the thought.
‘Okay, fine, I’ll stop. I still can’t believe it’s really happened, though. Do you think itcouldbe a sign?’
‘What the fuck?! What happened to “There are no signs, the universe is random”?’
‘Nothing. I think it’s all bobbins, as previously stated. But what doyouthink?’
‘Ugh, I don’t know,’ Rachel moaned, and scrubbed a hand across her forehead. ‘If it’s a sign of anything, it’s that I have terrible taste in men. I binned off Laurence because he wasn’t “enough”, and now – as if to underline that I’m the Goldilocks of dating – along comes Jack to remind me what happens when I go out with someone who’s too much. The search for someone just right continues … Probably forever.’
