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That was the tenor of Jesse’s thoughts as he spent the morning sitting ten feet away from his one-night stand.
From Tara.
The woman he’d hoped to see again.
The woman who’d snuck out of his hotel room in the middle night without leaving her number.
The woman who was one of his new freaking teammates. Apparently.
His gaze drifted from the notes he was taking to Boone at the head of the table, and then traitorously to Tara. She’d done her hair in a thick rope of a braid that hung down her back and was dressed simply in a navy blue sweatshirt and jeans. And he found her every bit as beautiful as he had last night. When he’d fucked her against the wall. Then shattered her with his mouth. Then watched her take every inch of him down her throat.
For fuck’s sake.
There was no apparently about it.
That woman was now his colleague. And before he’d even had his first day on the job, he’d already gone and fucked something up.
Goddamnit, Jesse.
Anger and resentment pounded through his veins. Anger at himself, for always falling short. Anger at the universe, for never once giving him a break—and gee didn’t the pity party make him feel even more awesome. And anger at her, too, if he was honest. For making him think something else was possible, for running out without a word, for being here now.
Her being on the team wasn’t a fair thing for him to be mad about. He knew that. And he’d force himself over it post haste because he could be a professional. And because he couldn’t risk doing another thing that might blow the fresh start he’d been hoping to make here.
Still, the whole snafu sucked some major ass. But sometimes it was just your turn to embrace the suck.
A little after twelve, Boone wrapped up the all-hands meeting, and Delores surprised them by bringing in platters of submarine sandwiches, salads, and chips.
“Donuts and subs all in one day?” George asked, grabbing the tray from the older lady’s hands. “Best be careful, or Jud will just move his ass in here and then you’ll never get rid of him.”
Jud nodded. “True, but I’m awesome. Anybody would be lucky to have me.”
Tara snorted, and the sound drew some appreciative chuckles.
“I think you just got shot down without T actually having to say a real word, champ,” Bobby said.
“You wound me, Tara. Wound me bad,” Jud said in what Jesse guessed what a Texas accent. The guy threw her a wink when she rolled her eyes, and hell if a tendril of jealousy didn’t try to curl around Jesse’s spine.
“You’ll live,” she said with a smirk. “And if not, George will consider resuscitating you.”
As more laughter rose up, everyone began fixing plates and chatting. Jesse couldn’t help but keep an ear tuned toward Tara, and he found himself admiring the rapport she had with the men here, and the way she gave as good as she got. It couldn’t be easy to be the only woman on a team of mostly prior military men, which made him feel even shittier for resenting finding her here. He was the outsider looking in on all their inside jokes. She was the one who belonged.
He put a turkey sub on his plate and froze. If the men were mostly vets…
Jesse looked across the table at Tara, and his gaze landed on the scar on her throat. Did that mean she was a veteran, too? And now he was really wondering what the hell had happened to her.
Each new thing about her intrigued him.
Which had him back to being pissed off again, because if they were colleagues they probably shouldn’t also be more. And, goddamnit, he’d been hoping that last night might have the chance to be something more.
Maybe not forever. Maybe not even a relationship. But more than just one night.
Tara did a doubletake when she caught him staring, and Jesse clenched his teeth together and dropped his gaze to the pasta salad, which he mechanically scooped onto his plate.
And then they were all sitting down again and shooting the shit. Jud was the one who finally pulled Jesse into the conversation. “So, Jesse, where you joining us from, man?”
He cleared his throat. “Was stationed at Coronado before I retired.”
“Aw, San Diego’s beautiful,” Jud said. “DC sucks by comparison.”
