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And somehow it felt appropriate that her answer was snot. Because yay her.
The tears hadn’t ended. But the sobs had.
The pain hadn’t gone away. But she could breathe again.
Her body aches were still there. But she wasn’t shaking anymore.
It was working. Tara was doing it.
“You’re okay,” she whispered. “And Jud’s okay.”
She blew out a long breath and forced herself into a sitting position.
“That’s true,” she said to the empty room. And she’d had a hand in both of those things, hadn’t she?
Coming out of the panic attack was huge progress, but the whole day had left her exhausted out of her mind. She washed her face. Pulled off her sweaty clothes and left them in a heap. Crawled into bed—without even bothering to turn off the lights.
She was almost asleep when she heard it.
Music coming from by her door.
Iconic music. One of her favorite songs of all time. One that was immediately identifiable with just the first four words: You must remember this…
Jesse. Jesse was playing As Time Goes By for her. It had to be him.
The echo of pain in her chest gave way to something else, something warm and full and new. She slid out of bed, remembered that she only wore underwear, and wrapped the blanket around her body like a cape.
A cell phone lay on the floor just inside her room.
Oh, Jesse.
Tara picked it up, took a deep breath, and opened her door.
Empty. The hallway was empty. From down the hall, she just made out the sound of the elevator doors closing.
For several long minutes, she stood there debating. Long enough that the short song ended…and then began again. She peered down at the screen to see that he’d set the song to repeat.
What a sweet, sweet man. This gesture…it was perfect. Perfect for her. And that…that was enough for now.
She closed her door. Crawled back into bed. Held Jesse’s phone tight to her chest. And fell asleep to “Sam” singing her one of the most romantic songs she’d ever heard over and over and over again.
Chapter 12
Jesse spent all night debating what he’d done, especially when Tara didn’t come after him. He hadn’t played the song for her to make her respond. He’d done it because, having given in to the urge to go to her, he’d heard her sobbing.
Hand raised to knock, he’d frozen at her door. If it’d been him, he wouldn’t have wanted anyone to witness it. And in case she felt the same way, he decided not to bother her.
Even though her anguish nearly broke his fucking heart.
But he’d been so worried for her that he’d sat outside her door just in case…well, he wasn’t sure what he was exactly afraid of, but his gut told him she shouldn’t be alone—even if she didn’t know he was there.
After a long while, her cries had quieted. Little noises echoed from inside her room. He wasn’t sure what made him think of the song, but once it was in his head, it felt like the best way to let her know she was going to be okay. And that he was willing to help.
But she hadn’t come after him. And, after six hours of cruising back to DC, she still hadn’t said anything to him beyond basic, polite necessities. She looked better today—her eyes were bright again and her expressions were genuine. And Jesse really hoped that meant he’d helped. Even if just a little.
They pulled into their home marina a little before one in the afternoon. Secured the GD and helped Boone stow equipment. Said what were apparently expected hellos to Mama D, who hugged every one of them as if they’d been off to war. Jesse thought it was sweet.
“Hey, Tara?” Jud called when they were all out in the parking lot. “Sorry about your fight club.” He gestured to his bum foot.
