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Jesse took her by the hand. “Done, baby. Let’s go home.”
* * * *
They went back to Jesse’s suite, because that was where it had all started.
They didn’t rush. They weren’t frantic. They took their time, exploring and indulging. Because they finally had a future in front of them.
When they were both naked, Jesse laid Tara out on his bed, hardly able to believe that she was his. That he’d laid all his cards out and finally won a hand. That she loved him, too.
But she did. And that…that meant everything. Hope and possibility and maybe even forever. At thirty-seven, Jesse was a man who knew what he wanted when he found it—and he had every intention of making Tara Hunter his in every way he could. When the time was right. And if she would have him. For the first time in a long time, he had hope—hope that she would.
But all that was for another time. Now, Jesse needed Tara in his arms. He settled between her soft thighs, their mouths claiming each other, their hands holding so damn tight. Being inside her felt like finally coming home, especially when she came with his name and her love for him on her lips. And he did the same.
Afterward, they lay cuddled for a long time. “Is this a dream, Tara?”
She settled her chin on his chest and smiled. “No, Jesse, this is our real life.”
Out of nowhere, he got choked up. He pressed his fingers to his eyes and heaved a deep breath. It was just, he’d been alone for so long that finding Tara and being loved by her meant the world to him. Because he never thought he’d find this—this happiness. “What if I’d never run into you?”
“But we did. We found each other. And I think…” She gave a little shrug. “Now I think I believe in meant to be.”
He swallowed hard. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you, Tara. But I promise I’ll devote my whole life to making you happy.”
She crawled on top of him, bringing their faces close. “You were you. That’s all you did. That’s all you had to do, Jesse.”
He nodded as her words reached inside him, slowly healing things that’d long been broken.
“Would you please tell me why you feel so unworthy? Because I’m going to devote my life to showing you that you’re worth everything I have to give.”
“Yeah,” he said, struggling for the words. It was hard revealing the ugliest parts of yourself, even to the person you loved and who loved you back. “I guess it goes back to the fact that my dad and I didn’t get along very well. I disappointed him a lot, and he thought I made one bad choice after another. It felt like nothing I did was ever good enough. I chose to run track instead of play hockey, which was what he’d wanted because it was the sport he’d played. He wanted me to be a surgeon, which at one point I thought I wanted, too. But when I told him I’d changed my mind and that I wanted to enlist in the navy, we had a horrible fight. He wanted me to go to college, and told me I’d be throwing my life away. That I’d have to live with that mistake. That he’d thought I was better than that, smarter. So when I left after high school, I rarely went back home to Cunningham Falls. I didn’t want to rub the navy in my parents’ faces. And I didn’t want to see his disapproval either.”
“Oh, man. I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine how hard that must’ve been. So you never worked it out with him? He never came around?” She cupped his face in her hand.
He shook his head and played with a tendril of her hair. “He died five years ago. I went home for the funeral, and I felt so out of place there that I’ve only been back one other time, when my sister’s husband died in a freak skiing accident.” Jesse never having the chance to make things right with his dad would always be one of his biggest regrets.
“That’s terrible,” Tara said, sadness on her pretty face. Sadness for him. Because she was on his side. Right now, that’s all that mattered. “Jesse, I’m so proud of you.”
He searched her eyes, seeing nothing but sincerity. “What for?”
Tara kissed him, once, twice. “For your service. For your incredible bravery in putting yourself in harm’s way again and again to do one of the most dangerous jobs in the world. At seventeen or eighteen, you knew what you wanted to devote your life to, and then you did it. And now you’re about to do it again with the police. So I’m proud of you. I’m also telling you this because I’m worried that no one’s ever said it to you. And you deserve to know that you’re amazing.”
“I fucking love you,” he whispered, drawing her in for a long, lingering kiss as the emotion warmed all the cold, hard parts inside him. God, she made him feel like a new man, a better man.
When they pulled apart, Tara tilted her head. “So you really don’t have a relationship with your family at all now?”
“My mom texts and calls sometimes. But I feel like….” He struggled to give voice to the mess inside him where his family was concerned. “I feel like I don’t know how to be her son anymore. How to fix things after so long.”
“Did she disapprove of the navy, too?” Tara asked.
“No. I mean, at first she was concerned for all the reasons any parent would be. But she saw it was what I wanted to do.”
Tara grasped one of Jesse’s hands and kissed his knuckles. “Then, Jesse, you don’t have to try to do anything special to be her son. You are her son. And I would bet any amount of money that she would give anything to be in your life.”
A rock settled into his gut. Could it really be that easy? Was this another area of his life where he’d let fear stand in the way? “You really think so?”
“I really do. When was the last time you talked to her?”
He thought back. “It’s been a few weeks.”
