None of them know about the depression I went through. LaSalle and I hide it well. However, the girls do know we’re trying again.
I don’t think there will be another one. Many would call me greedy, but I love my children. They just seem to be growing up so fast.
Of course, I’ve been blessed with four of my own and three bonus children, but having one more would feel like completion to me. It would go a long way to heal my loss.
Lucia will never be replaced, but I think another baby would help me to process her loss a bit better. Besides, a family of ten just sounds better in my mind.
I haven’t told any of the girls my feelings on the topic, so I can’t blame Val for her hopeful words. Maybe I’m too focused on the desire to have another. I blow out a breath and shake my head as I put my phone down and hop in the shower.
Tonight. Tonight, we will kick back and relax. Then we can come home and make another baby.
No pressure, Tasha. It will come when it comes.
I think of all we’ve been through, knowing it’s not over. Maybe it’s just not time to be pregnant again. Lord knows I pushed it during each one of my last four pregnancies.
LaSalle is likely to wrap me in Bubble Wrap and hide me in a closet this time if things aren’t wrapped up completely. If I have anything to do with it, it will be over soon. I can’t stand the losses we’ve taken.
Some have been more devastating than others, but they all have come with their own brand of pain. That will not happen again on my watch. Not if I can help it.
LaSalle
“What’s our next play?”Logan says on the other end of the phone.
I grunt as I wave at the kids in the back of Bobby’s SUV. He decided to come get them himself. Good thing his place isn’t that far away. All my kids in one vehicle for a long-distance drive, no thank you.
No one in their right mind wants that, especially not with Paulie tattling on everyone. I’d probably have to kill someone for leaving him on the side of the road.
Trust me, he’s mine and I’ve thought about it. I shake my head at my thoughts and refocus on my call. This matter needs to be addressed.
“I think we are all looking at the same picture but seeing different things,” Uri says before I can answer.
That we are. Uri has no idea how right he is. This is way more complicated than any of us understands.
“This is Misha we’re talking about. His intentions often override the course he takes. I’m not saying his actions are right; I’m saying I want to show him respect and allow him to do what he needs,” I speak up.
“Even if we all hate the results?” Logan says.
I sigh. The O’Briens have reason to be angry with the results of Misha’s actions and secrets. They have caused them the most harm.
“To be honest, I was ready to pull his coattails on this one. Then I started to understand his conflict. This isn’t an easy fix.”
“The fuck it isn’t. Listen, I can hold off the wolves for only so long. He’s going to need to make a decision,” Logan bites out.
If the situation weren’t so serious, I would laugh at him calling his brothers wolves. In this instance, he would be right. His brothers are ready to tear some shit apart—and rightly so.
“Bloody hell. Why do I feel like I don’t want to know why he hasn’t already?” Uri groans.
“Because most likely you’re not going to want to.”
“On that note, I am hanging up. I have enough on my hands. Val has fired another design team and is talking about showing up at one of the former designer’s houses to scalp her for talking to her out of pocket,” Uri says.
I smirk. That sounds like Val. If you can’t get the job done, she’s going to get rid of you and disrespect is out of the question.
“Aye, I promised I’d take the kids for a movie. I need to get them out of the house before they tear the place up. Keep me posted on the Russian.
“I’ve been keeping an eye on his lot in Astoria. I’ll give them one thing: if they want you to come up missing, you’re as good as gone. I just wish he would make that happen for this other little problem.”
I sigh. It’s not as easy as that. Trust me, if it were, he would have handled it already.
