“Go on,” Silas tells me gently, “I’ll get Ginger settled.”
I give him a nod and give the inspector everything I know. I never thought this was where it would end. That I would have a hand in Calvin’s downfall, but it is what he deserves.
Karma has a way of settling the score, even when you least expect it.
Driving away from Scott Ranch for the second time feels more real than the first. It becomes just a distant spot behind us as we make our way home to Knight Falls, and the fear and anxiety that have plagued me ever since that night no longer exist.
Of course, the threat of Calvin is still very much there; I’m not sure that will ever go away, but this time feels final.
Maybe it’s because I’ve faced him now, told him it’s over, that he doesn’t get to control or hurt me anymore, and so it’s started to close the wounds he inflicted on me.
Do I expect to be magically better? No.
Only time can heal the damage he caused, but I’m free of him. I have that time. And I no longer have to bleed in silence or pretend I wasn’t forced to survive beneath the hand of a monster.
“I’m proud of you,” Silas speaks quietly, his voice a rasp that skates down my spine and makes the hair on my arms stand up. Looking at him, he appears more relaxed than he was only twenty minutes ago, one arm resting on the door, the other on the wheel.
“What for?”
A small smile takes up the corner of his mouth, but he doesn’t take his eyes from the road. “You don’t see your own strength, do you, Honeybee?”
“Not sure anyone can call me strong.” I sigh.
He shakes his head, “You’re wrong. What you’ve done is strong. You’ve retaken control when you had no idea what might happen. That alone takes courage. You faced your monster when you had every right to hide.”
“I don’t want to hide anymore.”
“You should be seen,” he flicks his eyes to me now, only for a second, but I feel it, right in my bones. “Your light is much too bright to be stifled, Juniper.”
He doesn’t say the words, but he doesn’t need to.
He sees me.
We arrive back at Knight Falls and pull to a stop outside the stable house we chose for Ginger, a stall for her already set up and ready to get her settled. I’ll give her a chance to calm down before I get in there and give her a good groom, but I know she’s going to love it here and she’ll have so much company.
Silas gets her unloaded and hands me her lead rope, leaving me to have some time with my horse. She walks steadily at my side, but her ears are twitching, picking up on the unfamiliar sounds all around her. The hollers from the cowboys working in the fields, the bellows from the cattle in pastures I can’t see, and the hundreds of horses that call this place home. She’s taking it all in, just like I did when I first arrived here.
“Home for now,” I whisper to her, a pang of hurt cracking through my chest. What I wouldn’t give to make this place permanent.
The thought takes me off guard for a moment, and Ginger picks up on my hesitancy, her nose bumping my shoulder.
What happened to wanting out of this state? What happened to traveling and seeing more than just mountains and fields?
Looking over my shoulder, I see Silas at the training ring, hopping over the fence to tend to Dottie, who is prancing, her hind legs kicking out a little in excitement. His face splits into a grin, matching the filly’s energy, but he also gives her a wide berth so he doesn’t get accidentally kicked as Dottie works out all that energy.
He’swhat happened.
Time with him is what happened.
His quiet strength, his raw kindness, and firm grounding. He is an anchor, a rock that holds you down when the sea wants to wash you away.
My stomach flips remembering the tender way he took care of me, how he listened to me, my body, and gave it exactly what it needed. How he kissed me like I were the very moon and stars we had been watching in awe.
He has his own history, his own reasons to steer clear of relationships and be angry at the world, andyet he isn’t. He exists and all I want to do is orbit him.
Shaking my head, I push those wild ideas away.
I gave up on love a long time ago.
