“I love you,” I lift onto my knees and press my mouth to his. His hands go to cup my cheeks, holding me to him desperately as if I am slipping through his fingers like sand.
“I won’t leave,” I promise, “I can’t leave.”
He breaks the kiss and presses his brow to mine, relaxing now that I’ve promised to stay.
“I handed the note in,” he says eventually, and reaches into his pocket for the image of us, torn straight off the note. He hands it to me. “They’re putting out a search for him. He was last spotted leaving town and hasn’t been seen since.”
“But he left town?”
“According to the department, yes.”
It doesn’t ease all my anxiety, but it eases enough that I’m able to take a clear breath.
“They think he likely came here on his way out, hoping to scare you into going back to him.”
“It didn’t work,” I assure him.
“I know,” he gives me an attempt at a smile, “Get some rest, Juni.” He reaches for my hand and closes my fingers around the scrunched-up photograph.
“Where are you going?”
“Not far, I just need a minute.”
“Okay.” I breathe, watching him stand and leave, pulling the door up but not closed. I change quickly and then braid my hair while it’s still wet before I pull back the sheets and climb into the bed that smells like a mix of both of us. Sweet and spicy, a heady, comforting smell that wraps me up like a warm embrace, but sleep doesn’t come.
And neither does Silas.
Chapter Thirty-seven
Silas is gone before I make it out of bed. I must have fallen asleep around four, clinging to the hope he’ll come and hold me, but he didn’t. I heard him moving through the house, hovering at the door, and I know what I said was the cause.
I should never have said that I should have left. We both have our demons. They haunt us every single day. I don’t blame him for not coming, just like he won’t blame me for saying it in the moment.
Brewing a coffee, I take it to the window to look out on the fields opposite Silas’s house, seeing both the horses that were here before and the newcomers, allgrazing together. Despite Cal getting to me yesterday, he still didn’t win.
We did.
I’m still here.
Cradling my cup, I take a sip, letting those thoughts soothe me.
We will be okay.
This is just a bump.
Before I turn away, I notice two of Silas’s employees hanging around at the bottom of the drive, pretending to check something, but I see them glancing at the house. Silas may not be here, but he didn’t leave me alone. I hate the fact that I need it, but it warms me through, nonetheless.
Once I’ve finished my coffee, I get ready for the day. A lot of the horses that came in yesterday need a good groom and some love, and that I can do. I can keep busy and fall right back into Silas when the day is over. I can promise him over and over, I won’t leave, prove to him that those three words mean something. They mean everything.
Pulling on some denim shorts and a cami, I keep my hair in the braid I slept in, just tidy it up a little and then grab my hat off the hook to shield myself from the brutal sun. I’ll be busy all day, which is exactly what I need.
“Hey!” Ada smiles widely at me, totally unaware of my inner turmoil. I push it down, keep it at bay, and match her smile.
“Has anyone ever told you how hot you are?” I laugh, taking in her skintight shorts and homemade cropped tee. It’s got the ranch logo on the front, but I’m certain it wasn’t issued the way she’s wearing it.
“A time or two,” she winks, flicking her hair with a grin.
I laugh, “Did you need something?”
