“Listen,” she blinks at me, “I knew you two would get there eventually, but I actually need to know everything. Like everything, Sidney. But most importantly, I need to know if that big-dick energy is real or not.”
“It’s real.”
“I knew it.” She claps her hands, “Oh my god, so what? Are you two a couple now?”
“What? No,” I shake my head, settling her son back in my arms to take the rest of his bottle. “No, it’s not like that.”
“What do you mean?”
“We’re still just friends.”
“So, fuck buddies?”
“No.” God, how do I explain this? She’s going to lose her mind.
“Friends with benefits?”
“I guess so.”The benefit being a baby.“You know how badly I want to be a mom.”
Her eyes widen as it clicks into place for her. “Wait. No. No, you’re not doing that, Sidney. That is such a bad idea.”
“Why is it?” I frown, feeling a little offended.
“You’re fucking him to get pregnant. Does he know?” The question has my defenses rising.
“He offered.”
“Of course he did,” she pinches the bridge of her nose, “You do realize this will tie the two of you together for life.”
“Well, obviously, but it’s not like either one of us was going anywhere anyway.”
“What happens when you do meet someone, Sidney? How are they going to feel about this?”
“I’m not really thinking about anyone else, Luce. And if I do meet someone and they don’t like it, then that’s on them, really.”
She shakes her head, “You’re going to regret this, Sidney, and you’re going to get hurt.”
Irritation sparks through me. “That’s not fair.”
“I’m not wrong. I love Noah, I do, but it isn’t hard to see you’re in love with him.”
My lips pop open, “That’s not true.”
“Please, I’m your sister. You’ve had hearts in your eyes for that man since high school. And now you’re going to let him put a baby in you and get your heart broken when that doesn’t work out the way you’re hoping.”
“You’re wrong, Luce. I love Noah, but as a friend. We are good together; we trust and love each other. I don’t want to wait for some fictional man to come along and sweep me off my feet. It isn’t going to happen, and this gives me what I want. I want to be a mom so badly it actually hurts me. I’m notinlovewith Noah.”
The lies roll off way too easily, but then I suppose I’ve been lying about this my whole life.
She shakes her head, “Bullshit.”
“I don’t know what you want me to say.” I blink away the heat forming in my eyes. “If anything, I’m being more cautious about this than Noah is.”
She sighs, “Sidney, I love you and I want what’s best for you. This isn’t it.”
“I’m sorry you feel that way,” I place the bottle down and burp my nephew before I hand him back to Luce. “I’ve got to go.”
“Don’t be like that, Sid,” she sighs, “Please, let’s just talk about this.”
