“I'm sorry.” I nearly choke on the words as shame clings to me, intermingling with droplets of water still coating my skin.
“You don’t have any-damn-thing to apologize for.” He gives me a long look, his eyes never once dipping below mine.
The urge to flee—to put this town, my stalker, this whole fucking ordeal, in my rearview is strong. But I’m an adult, with responsibilities here. Not to mention, Nora would never let that happen, and Atlas would kill me for hurting her.
So I suck it up paste on a wobbly smile I don’t really mean. “I'm good, promise.”
He casts me a doubtful look and huffs. Clearly, he knows I’m full of it.
“You have five minutes, or I'm coming back in,” he says, his voice nothing more than a growl. And then he stalks back out into the hall, leaving me blessedly alone.
SEVENTEEN
ELLIS
I collapse onto the couch,pinching my eyes shut, trying to rid myself of the memory of finding Scarlet just now. But it’s no use. The vision of Scarlet wet, naked, shaking, and sobbing in the empty bathtub will haunt me for the rest of my life. Something about seeing her so fragile, so vulnerable, so broken is really fucking with me. I'm talking like rewiring-my-brain-chemistry fucking with me, and I’m not sure how I feel about it.
For the longest time, I thought she was impenetrable, like nothing could get to her. God only knows, she used to give as good as she got, but here lately, even she’s seemed softer, fragile even. And that’s not even taking everything with her stalker into account.
It's crossed my mind a time or two that our banter is less fun now that she seems to take everything so personally, but at the same time, I guess I understand why.
Either way, seeing her so utterly shattered, broke something in me. And worse yet, every single atom inside of me is demanding that I find a way to fix this, to help her, to make it all better. Too bad I don’t have the first clue where to start.
What I do know is no one deserves to feel the kind of fear she's feeling. Even though I saw some pretty fucked up shitduring my time on the force, stuff that definitely has come up in my therapy sessions, it’s somehow differentknowingthe victim. It’s differentseeingthe firsthand effects of it all.
Fuck.I scrub a hand over my face and groan. It’s pretty rare for me to be at a total loss for what to do, but right now, that’s exactly where I am. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to help. And I don't like feeling useless.
I jerk upright at the sound of footsteps in the hall. My heart launches itself into my throat as I scramble to think of what to say. But Scarlet beats me to it.
“Sorry about that,” she says, refusing to make eye contact. She's once again dressed in a pair of barely-there pajamas, but this time my eyes don’t linger.
I'm on my feet in an instant, crossing the room toward her. I slide a knuckle beneath her chin, so she has to look me in the eye. “Said it before, you have nothing to apologize for.” My voice comes out harsher than I mean for it to. “Do you hear me, Scarlet? Not a single thing.”
She flits her eyes away from me, causing my hand to fall. She stares at the wall like it holds the answers to the universe. “You sound mad.”
Despite standing close enough to feel the rise and fall of her chest, I have to strain to hear her. “Not mad, at least not at you.”
“Then who?” she asks, rubbing her hands over her arms as she shivers.
I lift a hand, as if to pull her closer, but think better of it at the last second. “Mad at the piece of shit tormenting you.” I spit the words out through gritted teeth.
“Oh.” The softly spoken syllable hangs between us as she drags her teeth over her lower lip. “It’s okay.”
“It's not okay.” This time I don’t resist temptation and raise my hand to cup her cheek. My fingers flex lightly againsther soft, warm skin as she leans into my touch.Focus, Ellis.“Nothing about this is okay.”
“No, I know,” she says. “Truly, I do. But to be honest, I'm just kind of spent. My brain feels like it’s swimming up through mud in search of sunlight.”
Suddenly, I know exactly what to do. “You know what, why don’t we veg out on the couch, and watchGossip Girl?” I lift my brows and grin at her. “Guaranteed, the drama happening on that show will take your mind off of everything, at least for a little bit.”
She contemplates my words for a moment and then smiles. I’m counting it as a win, even if it's watery at best. “Yeah, sure. That sounds... perfect.”
“Do you want snacks?” I ask, thinking about her barely eaten sandwich. She's got to be starving.
“Um, maybe something small... and sweet?”
“What if I told you I made cookies yesterday.”
Her dark eyes flash with delight. “I’d ask what kind?”
