I can't stop smiling.
Because that's it.
That's the sound.
The one I've been chasing for months.
And now that I've heard it once I think I'd do just about anything to hear it again.
The laugh is even better than the smile.
Later, when the movie ends, I get up to throw the trash away and end up wandering toward his desk. There's a single framed photo sitting there.
I pick it up and Jamie immediately notices and tenses up.
"Don't."
I look down and immediately understand the panic. He's maybe twelve. Missing a front tooth. Hair sticking up in every direction. Holding a hockey trophy almost as big as his torso.
A full smile.
The kind of smile that takes over his whole face.
I stare at it. Then I look at him. Then back at the photo. Then back at him. "Who the fuck is this?"
Jamie groans. "Put it down."
"No."
"Rhys."
"No chance." I hold it closer to where he can’t reach it. "Look at you."
"Give me that."
"You were adorable." I laugh so hard I nearly drop the frame. Jamie drags a hand down his face, completely mortified. Which only makes it funnier. "I've never seen you smile like this, Jamie."
His eyes flick away. "That was a long time ago."
I look back at the photo, at this kid who looks happy.
Really happy.
Before everything.
Before walls.
Before all the things that made Jamie Nash become Jamie Nash.
I don't know why it hurts.
But it does.
Just a little.
You know what's weird?" Jamie asks.
"Dangerous way to start a sentence."