She stares at me with that same blank expression that makes my throat tighten. But I force myself to keep going. To try to make her understand.
Because losing her... Well, that possibility is too horrible to bear.
“I just need you to hear me. So maybe you’ll understand.”
I rest my head back against the wall, my eyes locked with hers.
“When I stepped in today… it wasn’t because I didn’t trust you to handle him.” I swallow thickly. “It was because I don’t trust the world.”
She doesn’t say a word. Doesn’t move.
“I’ve spent my entire life believing that vigilance is the same thing as love. That if I watch closely enough, act fast enough, control enough variables… I can stop bad things from happening.”
My hand curls slightly against my thigh. My palms are sweating. This is the part that’s really difficult for me. The part that hurts.
“And what I did to you was take your strength and turn it into something I needed to manage.”
My voice drops. Loses its edge. “That was wrong.”
The word hangs there. Bare.Unqualified.
“I didn’t ask you what you wanted. I didn’t check in. I didn’t evenlookat your face to see if you needed me or not.”
She remains still.
“I just decided.”
I twist my hands together. “I don’t want to be the man who makes you smaller so I can feel bigger. And I was. Yesterday.”
The silence stretches between us long enough that my chest starts to ache.
“Ivy… I’m sorry.”
This time, I don’t rush past it. I lay it bare.
“I’m sorry for speaking over you. For assuming instead of asking. For confusing fear with protection. For turning my issues into your burden.”
My voice breaks slightly. “And for the record? You didn’t need me. You never did. Youchoseme.” My eyes plead with hers. “And I don’t ever want you to regret that.”
She shifts slightly, her expression giving nothing away.
My pulse spikes, but I stay exactly where I am.
“You really sat on the floor all night?”
A huff of breath escapes me. “Yes.”
“That’s ridiculous.”
“I know.”
The silence stretches again, but this time, it’s shorter.
“You didn’t knock,” she says. “Or come in.”
“No.”
“Why?”
