A pause followed. “Where are you, then?”
“I’m just outside,” I said, hating how vague it sounded. “I’ll come in later.”
“Edwina,” he said, softer now, “you’re worrying me.”
“I’m fine,” I said quickly. “Really. I just need to handle something first.”
He went quiet for a moment, as if deciding whether to push. “Do you want me to come get you?”
“No,” I answered too fast. “No, please don’t. I’m okay.”
He noticed. I knew he did. Still, he let it go.
“Alright,” he said at last. “But text me when you’re on your way. And if you need anything, call me. Don’t disappear on me like this.”
“I won’t.”
I ended the call before it could turn into questions I was not ready to answer. For a moment, I stood there with my phone in my hand, the silence around me feeling heavier than before.
December. The semester was almost over. The days were shorter now, the cold settling deeper into the city as final lectures, exams, and holiday plans began to fill everyone’s conversations. Christmas was coming. New Year too.
And Helena.
The thought of her pulled me back at once. My chest ached, though this time the feeling grounded me instead of breaking me. Helena came first. Whatever Hayden had awakened in me, whatever pain still lived in the past, none of it mattered as much as protecting her.
Helena’s birthday was coming. Giselle had already started planning it with an excitement I could not bring myself to interrupt. She wanted the day to feel bright, full of laughter and color, untouched by everything I had spent years trying to leave behind. A surprise party. A big one, because according to Giselle, Helena deserved nothing less.
A small smile touched my lips as I remembered how serious she had been about it, talking about decorations, cake, balloons, and all the little details Helena would love. For a moment, the thought warmed me.
Then another question slipped in and ruined it. What if Hayden found out?
The thought settled in my chest, sharp enough to steal the breath I had just managed to gather. He was suspicious now. He had started asking questions, watching me with a narrowedfocus that made me feel as if he could pull the truth out of my silence if he stared too long.
If he kept pushing, it would only be a matter of time. He would notice too much. One small crack in the life I had built, and Hayden would find his way straight to the truth I had spent years protecting.
My fingers tightened around the strap of my bag. The cold no longer helped. The quiet around me felt useless, because this had stopped being only about me and the things I still felt against my will.
This was about Helena. I had admitted to myself I still wanted him. I missed him. Some part of me had never stopped reacting to him, no matter how hard I had tried to bury it. Those feelings frightened me, yet they were not the worst of it.
The real danger was what would happen if Hayden discovered the truth.
And I could not let that happen.
By the time I stepped into the university building that morning, I could feel the change in the air. No one stared openly. No one whispered loudly enough for me to catch every word. Still, something felt different, and it followed me through the corridors, making each step feel watched.
People kept talking when I passed, though their voices dropped just slightly for me to notice. I did not need to hear everything to understand. My name had spread farther than it should have, passed around by people who knew only pieces of the truth and filled in the rest themselves.
I kept walking with my face composed, my shoulders straight, giving them nothing to study. In a place like this, people couldturn almost anything into a story. A glance held too long, a pause at the wrong moment, even the smallest shift in my expression could be enough.
Still, I caught pieces of their whispers.
“She’s been there again.”
“I saw her leaving his office yesterday.”
“It’s getting obvious.”
The words followed me even after I moved past them, slipping under my skin before I could push them away. I told myself it did not matter. People talked. They always did. By tomorrow, they would find another rumor to hold on to. The thought gave me no comfort. Because this was not only about them or their whispers.
