“I somehow think that’s not the full truth.”
“But it is. If I’d really cared about my sister, I would’ve moved heaven and earth to save her. And yet, at the first challenge, I ran away to live on the streets.”
Silence descended, and Laurie waited for Meadow to shove him away and tell him never to touch her again.
But until then, he held her close, committing to memory how peaceful he felt in her presence.
Meadow knew onlythe basics of what Nora had been through, and she struggled to see how Laurie thought her suffering was his fault.
She needed more information. So as she stroked his back, she asked, “Why do you think you failed Nora? Given what I know of your father, he was a sick bastard. I mean, he basically sold his daughter out as a broodmare and didn’t care what any of those males did to her. What could you have done to stop him?”
Laurie tightened his hold on her. “Something, anything. I tried once to sneak into the place they were holding her, but I got caught. My father beat me to within an inch of my life and said the next time he wouldn’t stop. By that point, our father had sold Leo off as a soldier for twenty years, and I was all Nora had left here. I should’ve found another way. But no, instead I got scared and ran. Nora suffered several more years because of it.”
She continued stroking his back and finally asked, “You’re only two years older than Nora, right?”
“Yes, but that’s not an excuse.”
“Look at me, Laurie.” Once his brown eyes met hers, her heart ached at the pain and guilt she saw there. She cupped his cheek and stroked her thumb against his skin. “What has Nora said about it all?”
He shook his head. “Nora’s too kind and forgiving.”
“So she said not to blame yourself?”
“Yes.”
“Then she’s right.” He opened his mouth, but she beat him to it. “Your father was the vampire Dark Lord at the time, one who had no qualms about killing and abusing fae witches for the fun of it. If he nearly killed you once, then no doubt he would’ve followed through on his threat if you tried again. I’m sure you’ll say that maybe it would’ve worked out, but maybe it wouldn’t have. And then where would Nora have been once she entered her frozen state? Or, once your father died? She would’ve had one less brother to be there for her.”
Laurie rolled away onto his back and ran his fingers through his hair. “They hurt her, Emmy. Badly. Not to mention they tookaway all of her babies. And maybe you’re right that nothing I did could’ve helped her. But I should’ve at least tried to kill our father and end his cruel reign.”
Meadow was silent for a second before she spoke up. “I can’t begin to understand what it’s like to take a life, but I imagine it would rest heavily on your soul, Laurie. And even if you had succeeded, could you have walked away without any consequences? By all accounts, your father had a small group of hardcore supporters, ones who would’ve sought revenge. Maybe not just with you, but Nora too. I don’t claim to understand fate, but maybe it was meant to be this way. Your sister has become strong because of her past, just as it shaped you into who you are now.”
Laurie lowered his hands and studied her for a few beats. Meadow wondered if she’d gone too far, but this was super important and not something she wanted to tiptoe around.
Besides, after all the hiding and half-truths she’d been forced to do to avoid her father, she was done trying to blend into the woodwork and go unnoticed. Done with holding her tongue out of fear.
Oh, it’d take time to say things without any hesitation. But she was determined to be more open.
Eventually, Laurie let out a breath and rolled onto his side. He propped his head on his hand and said, “I always thought that Nora said similar things just to smooth over the waters.”
“Your sister is pretty wise, and incredibly happy now with River. She’s living for the present and the future, and I think we should all learn from that.”
He arched an eyebrow. “You too?”
She nodded. “I think you, me, and Joseph have all been hiding and running from our pasts, from things we wished to forget.” She placed a hand on Laurie’s warm chest again. “Butmaybe me starting your and Joseph’s hearts was not only your new rebirth into life, but mine as well.”
He moved closer and wrapped an arm around her. “I think some of the writer in you is coming out. And no, I’m not teasing you. It just makes me eager to read whatever you write.”
She smiled. “You only want to read the naughty bits. But I promise you, they are integral to the story.”
“Well, then you’ll just have to hurry up and write it so I can read it and see for myself.”
“I wish I could write a story with three main characters, but that might be too much for this time period.”
He nuzzled her cheek, and Meadow leaned into the touch. He murmured, “Maybe eventually we can offer a special library here for patrons and see how they like the stories. Plus, Joseph will probably come up with a plan for how to get you published as well, even if the stories only have two main characters.”
Meadow chuckled. “Well, I’ll just have to ease the Victorian period in with steamy romance novels, and I’ll definitely have to use a pen name.” Laurie tried to kiss her, but she leaned back and asked, “Before anything else, you need to tell me if you’re going to try forgiving yourself for the past, Laurie.”
He brushed some hair off her cheek. “Only if you also try putting the past behind you so you can embrace the female who emerged after starting our hearts.”
