I stand and go to the cupboard, taking a bottle from within and pouring myself a dram of rum. I offer it to the others, but they both shake their heads.
‘Can I… I’m tired,’ Bryn says quietly, getting to her feet stiffly.
I point to the next room. ‘You can sleep in there, Bryn,’ I say.
I raise my brows at Jak. ‘I assume you put fresh sheets on the bed.’
He nods. ‘The room should be warm, too. I lit a fire in the grate earlier.’
‘Where will you sleep?’ she asks us.
‘Jak and I are upstairs,’ Morgan replies, giving her a smile that she doesn’t seem to notice.
‘And you?’ she asks me.
‘I’ll sleep out here.’
She nods, turns away without another word, and goes into my chamber. She doesn’t close the door and we all watch from the corners of our eyes as she lays on the bed facing away from us.
‘We think you’re a cunt, you know,’ Jak hisses in my ear. ‘Gods, I considered you a brother and now I don’t know if I’ll ever trust you again. Mark my words. I will never,never,go out on a mission with you in charge again. I want you to know that.’
‘Aye,’ Morgan rumbles quietly from the table, blatantly watching Bryn as if she’s going to be whisked away by the enforcers at any moment. ‘I, too, thought we were at least friends.’
‘We are friends,’ I say quietly, unable to look either of them in the face.
‘No, Locke,’ Jak snarls low. ‘You don’t wipe your friends’ memories of a woman they…care about. Gods, we justlefther. Didn’t even look back. How did that look to her? We didn’t remember herfor weeks! And, then, you didn’t keep her safe. You took her to that place where she had to survive for what, two months in their time?’
I don’t offer any excuses. There’s nothing I can do or say that will make this better quickly. But Morgan still gets to his feet as if I’ve tried to justify my actions, his dark countenance like a volcano ready to erupt at any moment.
‘Tell us what happened,’ Jak demands, giving Morgan a look that has him sitting back down with a huff. ‘Everything from when you sent us away.’
I let out a heavy sigh and I down my drink, pouring myself another before I begin.
‘I… The mission was paramount. I?—’
Morgan snarls and my eyes flash.
‘No!’ I grind out more loudly than I wanted and my eyes fly to the bed to make sure I haven’t disturbed Bryn.
When she doesn’t stir, I take a seat back at the table.
‘No,’ I say again more quietly. ‘You ask the questions. Fine! But you listen to all of my words, not just the bits that show my guilt.’
I pause, waiting for both of them to nod.
Jak sits at the table with us, and now he does pour himself a large rum. He gives one to Morgan, too, and the huge half orc takes the barest sip.
‘Go on then,’ he says. ‘Give us your excuses, but when you are finished, I’ll still take you outside and beat you bloody again. It’s the least you deserve.’
I don’t disagree, but I don’t say it.
I look down at the table and ready myself for talking about my past. I never speak of it, but I need them to understand, even though I know that they should still condemn me.
‘When Nanna and the others were taken, I made a vow. Did you know that?’
‘No,’ Jak says quietly.
‘I promised myself, the gods, the Light Realm itself, that I would do whatever it took.Whatever it tookto ensure that what befell those I cared about the most, the ones who kept me safe and sheltered me, wouldn’t happen to others.’
