I ignore his sentiments. None of that matters. We are where we are.
'So,' I say, 'I have a place here, but I have to lay with them, and I have to report to Voss for training, and I have to help with this Fiana who's stealing humans from the Light. Is that everything?'
Dane nods.
'And what is this training that Calder requires me to endure?' I ask, not relishing the idea of any prolonged time alone with the fae enforcer who beat me in the other room and then was able to hide it from everyone, even the two powerful mages before me.
Dane leans back on the table and half-sits on its surface. 'It will be here near the village, and you'll be joined by the fae he's training in the Underhill as we speak. That much I know, but the specifics will be up to Voss. As of a few months ago, Calder put him solely in charge of instructing the Underhill's recruits for the Dark Realm network.'
'And if I don't do it, the Underhill will take me and put me in a cell until I can be useful,' I say quietly. 'And, after they're finished with me, I won't be allowed back here.'
He nods, gaze not meeting mine. 'I'm sorry, Bryn. I know it's not fair, but it's not up to me. If you can help us get Fiana, prove to the Council Five that such a large threat to the Underhill is gone. If you can be instrumental in helping, I and some of the others might be able to claw the governing of this place back for the humans who live here. And you'll always have a place in the Light.'
'Thank you,' I say wryly, turning back to face Locke, Jak, and Morgan.
Locke appears calm, no longer ill at the prospect of bedding me. Jak looks resigned, and Morgan's face is blank.
Would they have brought me here if they'd known I'd be tied to them?
Doubtful.
I try not to let that realization send me into a desolate emotional maelstrom. They don't truly care about me, but I don't care about anything except being here!
'Go, now,' Dane commands. 'Rest. You have some time before you're summoned.'
I follow Locke, Morgan, and Jak out of the Hall in silence, weighing my options, of which there seem to be few.
I watch how all the humans get out of our way as we walk back to the cottage. More than one of the villagers mutters something as we pass them. I don't hear their words. Morgan ignores them. Jak snaps at one older man to fuck off, and he backs away in fear, turning on his heel and walking quickly away.
We arrive at the familiar door and I heave a sigh. So, this will be my home. With the three fae. Forever. Unless I fail to help take down the Underhill's enemies, or don't do as I'm told by Voss.
But at least I got here.
I straighten. I'm in the Light Realm. This was what I dreamed of. None of the rest matters. This will be my home. The first one I've ever had, I promise myself. I will make my life a good one as one of the freefolk and I'll do what needs to be done to ensure I get to keep it.
I enter the cottage after Morgan, but before I've gone two steps, he whirls around and picks me up, enveloping me in a tight hug that makes me grit my teeth in pain as I try to breathe through it without arousing suspicion.
I freeze in his arms as he loosens his grip, caught somewhere between dread and happiness, before I find myself melting into him, letting him make me feel better, lowering the brittle defenses that feel as if they've been up since he left me in the Dark before the pits.
Just for a moment…
I'm not proud of my weakness, but neither can I stop myself from burrowing into his chest and basking in the scent of him, pine smoke and… I take a long, subtle sniff …chamomile. It calms me to the core, though I wish it didn't.
I give myself just a little while, and then I scramble away from him. I stare at the wall and, in front of all three of them, I decide I should get it over with. I swallow hard and untie the knot of the lace keeping my dress together.
'What are you doing?' Jak sounds alarmed.
I don't look at any of them.
'We should…get it done,' I say, willing my voice to sound strong, though I'm not sure it does.
'Bryn—' Morgan begins and I wince.
'I know you don't want to,’ I say. ‘I don't either. But…'
A hand cups my face, and I instinctively shrink away from it after everything. I let out a low curse and force myself back, enduring it. I open my eyes. Jak is in front of me, his expression impenetrable.
'We don't have to do it now,' he says, his hand lowering to his side.
