I tried to get them off the subject, but they weren’t letting up.
“That’s okay,” Renee added. “Because we can get everything lined up for you.”
I nodded. I wanted to say no. Wanted to say stop, not right now, but my mouth wouldn’t open to say anything like that.
I just nodded with a smile, agreed to things I had agreed to before, and then I heard,”You are not marrying that nigga.”
Clear as day in my head was Gio’s voice, and I jumped up.
“Umm…I think I need to go,” I said, grabbing my bag, my keys, and my phone.
“What is wrong?” Kenya asked, jumping up behind me.
“Are you okay, Islah?” Deja asked.
I was getting so tired of being asked that I didn’t answer.
“I just have to go. I will talk to y’all later.”
I got outta Kenya’s house as fast as I could and hopped in my car with no destination.
I didn’t want to go home. I didn’t want to talk to anybody. I just wanted to think…think alone.
I drove around for a bit, listening to the radio. My girls and Love kept calling over and over, but I didn’t pick up, not knowing what I wanted to say to them.
After about an hour of driving, I ended up at a park, sitting on a bench, crying my heart out. I didn’t understand what I was feeling. I was happy Gio was gone for good, and as much as I wanted him to let go of me, I couldn’t let go of what he put me through.
Watching the man that I was in love with for seven years turn into somebody I didn’t know. Trying to think back to what signs I missed. Was I really blinded by love, or did he just hide it that good? Having flashbacks to him laughing in my face and dragging me to the room when I told him I wanted to leave. Then, deep down, wondering if Love could ever flip on me like that.
I was traumatized. I didn’t want to stress. I wanted the memory of Gio outta my brain.
“UGHHH, GIO! LEAVE ME ALONE!” I cried out as I held on to myself for comfort.
I sat there and cried my heart out until it got dark, and the park security came through and told me that I had to leave. On the way home, I stopped and got Amir and me a milkshake and took my time sipping mine as I walked in the house.
“WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN?!” Love yelled at me as he ran down the steps with his phone to his ear.
I looked at him and didn’t respond. “Amir, I got you a milkshake.”
Amir came running down the steps, grabbed his milkshake, and ran back up to his room while Love stood there still staring at me.
“Kenya, she’s home. Hit her line, I guess,” he said as he hung up the phone.
I walked up the steps, still sipping my milkshake, and went into our room with Love following behind me.
“Mamas, are you going to talk to me? Or your girls? We were all worried about you. They said you left out fast,” he asked.
I shrugged. “Love, I really don’t know what to say.”
He nodded. “I get it?—”
“You actually don’t,” I said, cutting him off.
He nodded again. “Okay, baby. When you are ready to talk, let me know. Until then, I can only do what I think you need.”
I grabbed some clothes outta the closet and walked toward the bathroom.
“Right now, Love, I need space.”
