But I had.
I must have.
The blood didn't lie.
The body didn't lie.
Only my memory lied.
Only my mind lied.
Only I lied, to myself, over and over, because the truth was too heavy to carry.
"Daddy."
The whisper was soft.
"Daddy, I'm so tired."
No answer.
There was never an answer.
I closed my eyes, and the darkness behind my lids was the same as the darkness in front of them, and I let myself drift.
Not sleep.
Something else.
Something between.
Something that wasn't rest but wasn't awake either.
A holding pattern.
Waiting for whatever came next.
The door opened.
I opened my eyes. Matt was standing in the doorway, holding a plate with a sandwich on it.
"Lunch."
"What time is it?"
"Noon. You've been here for six hours."
"I didn't sleep."
"I know. But you rested. That's something."
He set the plate on the table beside the couch and sat in the chair across from me.
"I thought about what you said. About the job."
"And?"
"I'll take it."
