Page 90 of The Devote

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"He already has."

I woke up on the floor.

I didn't remember falling. I didn't remember the glass slipping from my hand, the whiskey spreading across the bar, the shattering of glass on wood. I was on my back, staring at the ceiling, and the ceiling was spinning, and the world was spinning, and I couldn't make it stop.

Sasha.

Rue.

The girl who wasn't there.

Batch 36.

Batch 39.

Batch 47.

Me.

I was Batch 47.

Or maybe I was Batch 36.

Or maybe I was all of them.

Or maybe I was none of them.

"He'll discard you too."

The words echoed.

"He already has."

I pressed my palms against the floor. The wood was cold. The wood was real. The wood was the only thing I could feel that didn't shift and change and dissolve when I tried to hold onto it.

"Daddy."

The whisper was soft.

"Daddy, I don't know what's real anymore."

No answer.

There was never an answer.

"Daddy, please."

"Please tell me what's real."

"Please tell me who I am."

"Please tell me why I can't remember."

I was alone.

I had always been alone.

And I was falling apart.