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I pause, watching as Paige’s eyes widen.
“Key word being my life. Not ours. I knew where it was going then. She cut my heart out and the worst part is—the fucking worst—I couldn’t blame her. No one should have to put up with the shit Nick and I deal with. So I told her I’d make it easy and call the engagement off. I expected her to act upset, then tell me I was right. No, she just smiled and hugged me. She thanked me for doing the right thing, for freeing her, and walked right out the door.” I’m pinching the bridge of my nose, the physical pain numbing the sting of that night.
“It’s okay,” Paige whispers, stroking my arm. “She sounds like a selfish piece of—”
I don’t let her finish.
“No. I was selfish that night. I could’ve put Nick to shame with my stupidity when I hit the closest bar and brought some woman home. One of Osprey’s bloggers got a nice picture of her leaving with me the next day when I gave her a ride home. Rumors flew that the engagement ended because I cheated. Maria never spoke up to clear the record, not after she was back in Paris and far from Chicago drama. I never corrected it.”
“Holy shit. That’s almost worse than Austin!”
“I’m over it,” I grind out, hoping that’s true.
“But you loved her?”
With a heavy sigh, I shake my head.
“Maybe once in another life. Maybe I was just fooling myself. Anyone I can extricate from my life that easily, I couldn’t have had much of a connection with.”
“You have no reason to protect Maria. What she did was disgusting, Ward.”
“She didn’t deserve my family’s BS. She panicked and bailed for herself. Frankly, you don’t deserve it either, Paige. Can you imagine if you were stuck in this abusive drama web that has no end? It’s no damn wonder I’ve lost my capacity to love. You don’t need this shit. You’re the warmest person I know.”
“What did you just say?”
She stares at me, her lips trembling.
“I don’t want a dysfunctional life for you. Not after we’re moving ahead with Winthrope. Your parents worry about you. Your dad called me after you gave them the NDA, you know. He told me you’d better come out of this better off than you went into it, or he’d castrate me. And if anyone ever asked why it ended, I’d admit to wrongdoing.”
“Crap! I wish you would’ve told me sooner. I never wanted them butting in,” she says, turning a shade paler.
“Your old man was looking out for you, and he should. That’s the kind of family you deserve. You don’t need a man who can’t feel.”
She stares at me like I’m insane and purses her lips into a thin pink line.
“What?”
She inches closer and cups my face with her hands, brushing her fingers through my short beard.
“Ward, you’re so wrong. You can still love just fine. You love Nick and your grandma like crazy. You’d do anything for them. You’re only a dick to people in the office to hide how much you want the best for them. And with me, you care—you care so much.”
Damn her, I want to deny it.
Instead, I pull her closer, gripping her wrists, and this time she makes no effort to stop me.
“I know it hurt, but you should forget her. Any woman who’d throw away the chance to be with you because your parents belong in a nuthouse isn’t worth your time. You’re no loveless beast. You’re just a bossy grump who doesn’t know how to let down his guard.”
Before I can blink, her mouth attacks mine.
I open, tracing her bottom lip with my tongue, needing her taste more than I need oxygen right after I’ve flayed myself open.
My brain throbs like hell, trying to figure out why.
Or am I just struggling to admit the reason because I fucking know?
Paige trembles against me as her arms tighten around my neck.
She pulls away just as I slip my teeth into her lip, gasping for breath.
She’s not alone.
Goddamn. This girl pierced my armor.
My defenses are useless around her, and I have no idea how I’m supposed to walk away from this when our contract is up. So I kiss her again, deliriously stumped, and all because I want to find out how to reach deeper than her body and taste her soul.
I know how absurd this sounds.
I know how dangerous.
I know how I feel about her—far stronger than I have any right to feel.
Could I do this to her? If I’m not sane enough to walk away when the contract ends, could I condemn her to being a Brandt?
Would she even agree to it after meeting my mother?
It’s one thing to offer comforting words. It’s another kind of hell to actually live in this family and the never-ending mess.
