I made my bed with the clean linen that Win brought up for me. That’s all I’ve done in here. This morning and most of this afternoon have been about getting Ben settled, and hiding from my scent match in case Murph came looking to talk to me about feelings I’m avoiding.
A three-week road trip with a five-year-old who struggles to sit still for any length of time required careful planning. Lots of careful planning. Also, a large duffel filled with games, coloring books, a truly terrifying amount of Legos he refused to leave in Memphis, his iPad to watch his favorite cartoons, and a detailed list of places to stop so he could stretch his legs and explore, to keep him from getting bored.
My bag is significantly smaller than his.
“I wanted to get Ben settled first,” I explain as Joel eyes my untouched suitcase, embarrassed that I’ve had all day to unpack and it’s now 4 p.m. He must be wondering what I’ve been doing.
“I can help,” he offers. “You’ve been sick a lot, so if you need to just chill… I don’t mind hanging clothes in the closet and folding.”
His generous offer, coming soon after he walked in the front door from work, draws a small smile to my lips. “That’s really sweet of you, but I can do it.”
His eyes drop to my mouth, and heat pools in his gaze. My smile fades, and he clears his throat, looking away.
He stuffs his hands into the front pockets of his navy combat trousers. “Um, I told Murph about meeting you in the diner…” He hesitates. “And about being attracted to you. Especially since, well, you’re scent matches and are staying here with us now. Tobe honest, I wasn’t expecting to walk out of that kitchen with my insides still in my body.”
I wince. “I can’t imagine that was a fun conversation.”
I was green in the diner. He shouldnothave been attracted to me, and I should not have noticed his smile or the size of his biceps when my focus needed to be on Ben.
And yet, those thingsdidhappen, and now I’m living in a house with my scent match, my son, and a man who just admitted he's attracted to me. And Win, who’s handsome and sweet, who I just…like. Things have the potential to be awkward as hell. Maybe moving in wasn’t such a good idea after all.
“It was fucking terrifying,” Joel admits. “But I needed him to know where I stand with you, and that means I need to be clear with you too. Honesty is important to me.”
“Because you’re a firefighter?”
He lifts one shoulder in a half-shrug. “Partly, I guess. Even if Murph wasn’t my friend and roommate, and even if I paid for my honesty by having him pull my arms off, it was still the right thing to do.”
If I hadn’t met Murph, I’d have laughed at that comment. Both men are large, the way most alphas are. Simon was a serial smiler, kind, and usually stooping to speak to Ben, so I rarely noticed his size once we’d been together for a while.
Joel is big, and obviously, he’s a firefighter, and there’s something about his presence that’s reassuringly strong and capable.
Murph is… intense. Rough and rugged, his scent dangerously potent. He has this way of looking at me that stirs the submissive side of my nature to the surface. He throws out this dominant aura that no one could miss.
“Um, well, thanks for telling me,” I say, not admitting to my own attraction.
Looks like today is all about hiding from my feelings.
“He doesn’t mind,” Joel says, watching me intently as if trying to read me.
I blink up at him. “What?”
His eyes slide away from mine. “That I’m attracted to you. Or that Win is too. He said if I have feelings and you have feelings… well, he wasn’t going to kill me for us acting on them. I think we became a pack so quietly that none of us noticed.”
At that point, I choke on my own spit, and even after he’s clapped me on my back to clear my airways and I’ve wiped the tears from my eyes, I still don’t have a response to what he just told me.
“Okay?” he asks, voice husky.
“I can’t,” I blurt out.
He lifts a dark-blond brow. “Can’t do what?”
“Do this… with you. My alpha died, and I need to prioritize Ben. Not me. So…”
“I understand that,” he says softly. “I’m not gonna be pinning you against walls or trying to kiss you. Just…”
“Just?” I whisper, suddenly wishing he would do just that.
“Just that I wanted—no,needed—you to know where I stand. And if your feelings do change or grow or whatever, then I’m right here.”
