He gives me a long, searching look. “I was in here thinking about how I would apologize to you, and I was getting frustrated with myself. That’s why I looked pissed.”
Apologize to me?
I scrunch my nose. “What for?”
“What I said to you outside… asking you about Simon. I shouldn’t have done it. I grew up talking to horses. It’s not an excuse, but I sometimes speak before thinking.”
I bite the inside of my cheek to contain my smile. “Um, and did you speak to a lot of horses?”
A faint smile softens his expression. “More than I will ever admit to. Leaving a rural ranch to become a construction worker pushed me to interact with more people. It’s been over ten years, and I still often say the wrong thing instead of the right.”
“You didn’t say the wrong thing, Murph.”
“I didn’t?” The tension in his shoulders eases.
I shake my head. “I snapped at you for asking a perfectly normal question, then got embarrassed about facing you afterward. It’s why lunch was so awkward.”
He nods, then cocks his head. “You ate chicken before, so you can’t be a vegetarian or a vegan. Do you have a problem with my family being cattle ranchers? And I haven’t stopped being curious about why you don’t want me wearing my cowboy hat around Ben.”
I cross my arms, my cheeks hot. “Um, it’s not about you. Ever since I showed up in Rios, the universe is set on making my son attached to the place.”
He raises his brow. “In what way?”
“Well, he loves firefighters, fire trucks, birthday cake, and making new friends. Guess what came up in our conversation with Joel the firefighter, with a godson’s birthday coming up that he’s invited to?”
“Ah.”
“And then Ben ran off, and Win helped me find him.”
Concern flashes across his face.
I smile faintly. “He was okay. Just bored waiting for me to wake up. Win told me about this place and that you're a construction worker. Guess what else my son loves?”
His mouth twitches. “How far off the mark would I be if I guessed building houses?”
“Yeah. And then he meets you. A real-life cowboy.”
The universe is serving up all my son’s favorite things, and it’s not just him.
His amusement fades. “What about you?”
I look away. “I don’t know. Talking about Simon with you is… difficult. That’s not your fault. If I hadn’t lost him, I wouldn’t have found you. If I had found you, I wouldn’t have known him or had Ben. I tell myself I have nothing to feel guilty about, that it’s not wrong to want you, but I do, and I took it out on youwhen I shouldn’t have. You’re not to blame, and you didn’t need to apologize to me. I’m the one who owes you an apology.”
“Would you feel more comfortable back in Memphis?” he asks, voice low. “Say the word, and we can pack up and leave tomorrow.”
Within an hour of knowing Ben and me, he offered to rip up his life in Rios to move back to my hometown. He’s reminding me that offer still stands. And I get the sense he wouldn’t be the only one coming to Memphis with Ben and me if I said yes to Murph.
A pack, once formed, almost always stays together, and for a pack to break apart is something I’ve never heard of. But some must. There is always an exception to the rule.
I shake my head, refusing his offer. “It would be harder. Everywhere I looked, I saw Simon, memories of our life together, and I knew I could never move on there. I had to get away.”
He nods, hesitating, then says in a rush as if afraid I’ll interrupt. “I noticed most of the stuff in your car was for Ben.”
And he absolutely would have noticed since he insisted on carrying our bags and suitcases up the stairs. Five bags went into Ben’s bedroom. One suitcase went into mine.
“Yeah.”
“You didn’t have anything soft.”
