That he died not knowing I was pregnant again.
That I’m doing this without him.
Knock, knock.
It startles me so badly that I drop the test and dive for it before it slips under my stall door. “Yeah?” Getting to my feet, I stuff the test into my purse and grab handfuls of tissues to blot my wet cheeks.
“It’s me.”
“Joel?”
“Yeah, I know this is the ladies’ restroom, but you’re the only one in here. I took a quick peek before I walked in.”
I bet I can guess why he would come looking for me. Ben has gotten up to mischief.
I unlock my door, pull it open, and rush outside. “What did Ben—oof!” Colliding with Joel, my purse hits the ground.
Joel steadies me when I rock backward, then picks up my purse and sets it on the counter beside the sink. “He’s fine. Win took a break from the kitchen and is watching him. I wanted to check on you.”
Feeling guilty, I step around him to wash my hands. “Sorry I was gone so long.”
He tugs me back, drawing me against his chest and wrapping his arms around me in the warmest, deepest, most perfect hug that I never knew I needed.
“Ben’s fine. Win’s fine.Youare not fine. Bad news?”
I lean against him when I should pull away. It feels too good. Black cherry and wood smoke, scents so soothing, they call to mind campfires in my backyard with my parents when I was safe, warm, and happy.
“I’m pregnant,” I say, voice low. “I knew I was. The morning sickness was the same as with Ben. This is good news. The best news. But…”
He wraps his arms tighter around me and rests his chin on top of my head. “The father of your child isn’t here to celebrate with you, and that makes you sad.”
He gets it.
“I don’t know how it can feel like both the happiest and saddest day of my life,” I whisper, eyes burning as I stare at his navy shirt.
He leans back to meet my gaze, his dark-blond brows knitting together. “I can’t begin to know how you must feel. And I won’t say I understand, because I don’t think I ever could. You want me to take off the rest of the day and spend it with you and Ben? Maybe I could just play with Ben while you catch up on sleep.”
My heart softens at his generous offer. “That was a real sweet way of telling me I looked like shit this morning, Joel Shaw.”
He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “Was it? Cause I remember seeing a tired-looking pregnant omega suffering from morning sickness, but who was trying to smile and give all the energy she had to her son. And I remember being prettyimpressed with how much of herself she gave when she had precious little to give.”
That is… ridiculously sweet.
“Thanks,” I say, smiling. “But you don’t need to take time off work for me. You don’t know me well enough to be sacrificing all your time for Ben and me.”
“I know enough. Spending time with two of my favorite people isn’t a sacrifice. It’s a want and a need." His eyes dart to my mouth, and my heart skips a beat.
I fight the urge to lick my lips. It would be too much of an invitation for Joel to kiss me, and I’m not sure I’m ready for that yet. “I should check on Ben.”
He nods, stepping back and pulling his arms from me. “You sure I can’t take off work? We’re a quiet firehouse, and there are enough guys on shift to cover. They won’t miss me if I drop off the pies and come back to hang out with you and Ben.”
“It’s okay.” I head to the sink to wash my hands, something I really should have done before I wrapped my arms around Joel. “I was going to eat lunch with Ben, then maybe find a toy store to get Lina’s son a birthday present.” I don’t know Harry, but I refuse to show up at a kid’s party without a gift.
“Lucky’s.”
I turn to look at him. “What?”
“Lucky’s Toy Store,” he says from where he’s waiting for me by the restroom door. He leans toward me and lowers his voice, cupping his mouth to whisper conspiratorially. “I have it on good authority that Harry is extremely fond of trains.”
