The words felt too small.Insulting, almost.But they were all I had.
Archie stared at me.For a moment, I thought he might hit me.I wanted him to.There would have been relief in it.Something simple.Pain for pain.Instead, he looked past me, toward the window.His face had gone tight in the way men’s faces did when they refused to fall apart.
“I hated him,” he said.“For killing you.”
“Understandable.”
“I hated myself for not saving you.”
My chest tightened.
“You were never meant to save me.”
“You were my brother.”
“I still am.”
His eyes sharpened.
“Are you?”
The question was cruel.But I had earned it.I took one step closer.He let me.
“I was your brother when Viktor pulled the trigger,” I said.“I was your brother when I lay in Marushka’s house unable to move and bit through cloth so no one would hear me scream.I was your brother when I learned to walk again.I was your brother when I stood beside your hospital bed and told you to get up.I was your brother when I put Viktor in the ground and spat on his grave.”
I stopped in front of him.
Close enough now that I could see the faint scar near his hairline.The tiredness around his eyes.The life in him.The impossible, stubborn life.
“And I am your brother now,” I said.“Even if you hate me.”
His face twisted.
“I do not hate you.”
The words came fast.Angry.Almost unwilling.Then softer.
“I wanted to.”
I nodded.
“You have every right to,” I told him.
His eyes burned.
“Don’t be noble.It doesn’t suit you.”
Despite everything, a rough breath left me.Almost a laugh.
For a moment, neither of us moved.Then Archie looked down.His hands were shaking.A tremor he would have hidden from anyone else.I saw it because I had spent a lifetime watching for the things he didn’t say.
He saw me see it.His expression hardened, humiliated by his own grief.
I reached for him slowly.Slow enough that he could stop me.He didn’t.My hand closed around the back of his neck.The same way I had done when we were boys and he came home bloodied from fights he swore he had won.
He went rigid.For one second, I thought he would pull away.Then something in him gave.His forehead dropped against my shoulder.
I closed my eyes.
