Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
How could I think it was a good idea to go to Tyler and tell him about my pregnancy? It definitely wasn’t a good time. But when is it ever? When I’m giving birth? After they’re born?
The drive home is no more than a blur. Tears seem to flow way too easily these days and are on the verge of slipping down my cheeks. They burn my eyes as I struggle to hold them back.
I thought telling Tyler the truth would be the right thing to do, but I suppose it wasn’t. Going to him after he texted earlier was a mistake. I nearly backed out of the whole plan of going there several times. I should have. It would have saved me the pain of seeing his rage. I just thought when he reached out that it was the opening I needed to tell him, but it surely hadn’t been. I should’ve just texted him back with something nonchalant.
God, it was an idiotic thing to do. Totally reckless.
It’s not that I thought Tyler would be thrilled about the news. I surely didn’t think he’d take me in his arms and tell me it wasall going to be okay. I might be a blonde, but I’m not dumb by any means. Subconsciously, I believe I wanted him to be there for me. To tell me that everything would be fine, and we would figure it out together.
As many times as my brother has asked me who the father is, I’ve refused to tell him. I didn’t want him to find out and go and confront Tyler before I even had the chance to tell him myself. I suppose now that I’ve told Tyler, I could tell Dustin and hope he doesn’t go and try to do anything stupid. It’s not like he isn't going to find out eventually. That is, unless Tyler refuses to have anything to do with my children, which he could.
Children.
Twins.
I’m still not completely over my fear of being a parent to twins; however, I’m getting there. One day at a time.One breath after the next.
It won’t be easy, but I can do this. Somehow. Some way.
It’s helped me to know that Dustin has my back if I need him. Every day, he’s called to check in on me or stopped by my house. Sometimes, he brings dinner with him. I get he’s being a protective big brother, but he’s getting to be a little bit much. But I secretly like having him there. It’s nice knowing he’s willing to do this for me.
Parking my truck, I shut off the engine, slip the key out, and grab my stuff while opening my door. The walk up the steps to my little porch is much like the drive home. I’m not sure how I manage it, though somehow I do without falling on my face.
I unlock the door, step inside, and drop all of my stuff in the doorway. Thankfully, it’s the weekend. As much as I love my students, I’m glad to have a break.
I move to my couch, only to curl up into a ball. I place a hand on my still flat stomach and squeeze my eyes shut. I can’t get the look of Tyler’s expression out of my mind. It wasn’t justsimple anger or shock. I saw the rage inside him. His whole body radiated of it when he walked away from me.
I get Tyler being upset, I really do, but I was being honest with him. I didn’t expect anything from him in any capacity. Nor am I trying to trap him. It’s his choice of what he wants to do or how he wants to be a part of his children’s lives. I won’t force him. I definitely didn’t think he’d be all white knight about it. I don’t want him to be. It’s not about me and him at all. It’s about the fact that we now have two people connecting us, and they will be here before we know it.
I can’t deny the facts, though. He’d given me the best sex of my life. I don’t think I’ve ever had an orgasm as intense as the one he brought out of me. Not to mention, I actually enjoyedsitting with him while we talked. It maybe could have been something, but now, it won’t be anything at all. If he decides he wants to be in the twins’ lives when they’re born, that’s his choice. I’ll be cordial about it, and we can co-parent together, but that’s all.
I’m fine on my own, just as always.
Sighing, I stare off into space and don’t even bother to move when someone knocks on my door the first time. I’m not in the mood for company. If it’s Dustin, he’ll just let himself in, anyway. By the third knock, annoyance sets in, and I get to my feet to answer.
Opening the door, I wish I’d looked out the window to see who was at the door beforehand. If I had, I wouldn’t have answered. “What are you doing here, Philip?”
Better question, how did he know where I lived?”
“You haven’t called me, and I wanted to see you,” he answers,looking at me sheepishly. “I’ve got us some takeout.”
I know better now than to fall for that innocent act, especially when his words don’t fit his voice.
“You need to leave,” I tell him, and start to close the door.
“Don’t be like that, Laney, baby, come on, let me in and we’ll eat, talk, work things out between us,” he says, blocking me from closing the door in his face with his boot.
“Philip, I’m not doing this with you. Please leave.” Thankfully, my voice doesn’t have the fear in it that seems to be consuming me. I want nothing to do with this man.
“I’m not leaving until we talk,” Philip states gently. I can clearly read the anger in his eyes. He isn’t going to take ‘no’ for an answer. “Let me inside, baby.”
“I’m not your baby. Stop calling me that,” I snap, holding the door closed as much as I can. “You need to leave. Now, before I call the sheriff.”
Or better yet, my brother. I haven’t told Dustin about Philip, mostly because I know he will lose his mind if he finds out what Philip has done to me. The last thing I need is more trouble.
“Delaney, I’m not leaving. We’re gonna talk about this.” None too gently, Philip shoves against the door, pushing his way inside forcefully.
