I was afraid if I closed them, he'd disappear.
Afraid this was all a dream, and he'd be gone when I woke.
But my eyelids grew heavier, consciousness fading...
At some point, I slumped over the bed and fell into deep sleep.
"Firecracker."
A low, raspy voice sounded in my ear.
I jerked awake, head snapping up—
Nikolai's eyeswere open.
Those dark gray eyes gazed at me tenderly, exhaustion in their depths, but more than that—the relief of survival.
"Nikolai!" Tears burst forth instantly. "You're awake! Finally—"
"Don't cry." He weakly raised his right hand to wipe my tears, but the IV line restricted his movement.
I quickly grasped his hand, pressing my face into his palm, unable to stop crying.
"I'm sorry... It's all my fault..."
"Idiot." His voice was soft but infinitely indulgent. "This isn't your fault. I failed to protect you."
"No!" I looked up, shaking my head hard. "I was too stubborn! I didn't listen to you, I insisted on meeting old Volkov, that's why—"
"Vivienne." He cut me off, those gray eyes serious. "Listen to me."
I bit my lip and nodded.
"These past days, I've been thinking." He spoke slowly, voice weak but steady. "Thinking a lot, about us, about the way I... controlled you."
He paused, pain flashing in his eyes.
"I grew up in the Bratva. I've seen betrayal, death, too many people pay the price for trust. My mother was one of them. She trusted my father, and what happened? She died alone and desperate."
"So I swore I'd never let anyone I cared about be in danger. I had to control everything, know everyone's movements, eliminate threats before they emerged."
He looked at me, guilt filling his gaze.
"But I forgot—you're not my subordinate, not my pawn. You're Vivienne Cole, a woman with her own mind, her own dreams. You didn't need a cage, not a prison, but..."
"But a partner," I finished softly. "A partner who respects you, trusts you."
He nodded.
"I'm sorry, little firecracker. I got it wrong. I thought monitoring you, tracking your every move was protecting you, but I never realized how much pain that would cause you."
"No." I shook my head, tears still flowing but a smile tugging at my lips. "I need to apologize too. I shouldn't have fought back so hard,shouldn't have said those hurtful things. I understand now—you weren't imprisoning me, you were just... you were just too scared of losing me."
His eyes reddened too.
"Yes." His voice broke. "I was terrified. So terrified that... I'd rather have you hate me than risk losing you."
"I don't hate you." I leaned down, forehead touching his, tears falling onto his face. "I love you, Nikolai. I love you."
