“I know you’re living here because you have nowhere else to go,” I say quietly, “but just so we’re clear… I can’t trust you. I can’t love someone who could betray me that easily.”
“But I didn’t betray you!” Jace steps forward, frantic. Panic clear in his voice.
I don’t turn around. I don’t dare.
“You did, Jace.” My voice trembles but I push on. “You betrayed me the second you decided to do this alone. The second you decided I didn’t deserve the truth. That we didn’t deserve it.” I swallow.
“If you really loved me—if you really lovedanyof us—you would have trusted us enough to talk to us.”
And with my heart in my throat, I walk away.
I'mon a lounger by the pool, lying on a fluffy towel Maeve bought specifically because she said that birthdays deserve plush things.
She's on the lounger beside mine, oversized sunglasses sit on her nose, shading her eyes. Every so often, she reaches over and absently fixes the corner of my towel or just touches my arm, like she's making sure I stay present with her.
Luca and Noah are in the pool, arguing loudly about who the faster swimmer is. Luca claims he's “grace incarnate”. While Noah argues he swims like a caffeinated golden retriever. They're both right, in a way. Water splashes, sunlight flashes, and I smile at them.
“So…” Maeve turns her head to glance at me. “Are we going to talk about it?”
“About what?” I ask innocently.
“You know what. The elephant in the room. Or I guess in this case, the raven in the court.”
I groan and fling an arm over my eyes.
“Do we have to?” I know I'm whining like a petulant child.
“Uh, duh. That's what best friends are for. Figuring out shit together.” Maeve sits up and reaches over, poking my arm.
“How are you feeling about him being here and everything?”
“I get why Lucian let him stay here. After burning the bridge withGideon, it's not like he can go home.” I let my arms flop back down beside me dramatically while I stare up at the sky.
“Right, I hear you there. But how doyoufeel about it?”
I hum, chewing on my bottom lip.
“I ran into him outside my room before breakfast.”
Maeve jolts up, her sunglasses sliding down her nose.
“Is that why you were all quiet and broody?”
“I was…in my head,” I admit. “But I wasn't expecting to be ambushed by him the moment I stepped out of my room.”
“So, what did he say?” Maeve asks, raising an eyebrow.
“He said he wanted to explain. He told me he loved me and that he was protecting me. He doesn't see his actions as a betrayal.” My heart breaks thinking about it.
“What a douche canoe,” Maeve says before taking a sip of her drink.
“It sucks because…” I take in a deep breath, holding the tears back. “Because I was falling for him.” My voice is small.
“Do you still have feelings?”
I stare up at the blue sky, watching clouds move slowly.
“I don't know,” I say as I sit up, dropping my head in my hands, “I'm just so hurt, you know? I feel like if I didn't care it wouldn't hurt so bad. I'm so furious with his actions I can barely stand to look at him. But at the same time, I think a small part of me does still have feelings. And that's hard for me to process.” The confessions spill out of me, surprising us both.
