I turned to Autumn and gently covered her ears as Stacy kept screaming out threats. My hands shook with rage as I did my best to calm down. Staring down at Autumn’s pale face, I watched as her big eyes found mine and stilled. Her cheeks flushed and tears filled her eyes, but she gritted her teeth, the tension in her jaw so clear under my hands. Her shoulders straightened, and she stepped away from me, her unshed tears blinked away.
“I need to go make sure the kids didn’t hear that.”
“Autumn—”
She raised her hand to cut me off. “I’m barely holding my shit together. I want to fly out of here and rip her to shreds, but she’s their mother and I’m going to respect that. I just need some time to cool off, Griff.”
She moved with a grace I couldn’t comprehend, her skirt swaying behind her in the breeze that she created. She was furious, her entire body shaking. I knew her mouth, knew the way she didn’t take shit, yet she’d remained silent and respectful in the face of Stacy’s bullshit. For the kids. For my kids.
I sank into my chair and rubbed my fist over my chest, feeling more of the same ache there. If Autumn hadn’t been completely under my skin before, she’d just set up basecamp on top of my heart.
I dropped my head back and stared up at the ceiling, wondering what the fuck I was going to do if the end of the summer came and she picked Zeke or Con. I loved my brothers, but I wasn’t sure I could walk away and let them keep her.
Chapter 28
***Autumn***
I swam out into the ocean as the sun set that night. Con’s ex-wife had time off and wanted to see all the kids, so she’d taken them. The night off should’ve felt nice, but my nerves were still shot. I hadn’t been able to eat dinner, I was so upset. Maybe even more upset than I was angry. It sucked to hear someone parrot the dangerous little thoughts from your head. Obviously, I knew Stacy was off her rocker, but it didn’t make the sting of hearing the names she’d called me any less hurtful. And if I took her threats even remotely seriously? I’d be more than a little worried.
I didn’t know what it was, but I suddenly desperately missed my father. Even more than normal. I floated on my back and stared up at the dark blue sky, wondering what he would think if he could see me. The answer came swift and sure, but it was hard to believe it wasn’t my own mind wishing for the best. But, I knew. Dad had been the most easy-going man. He’d never cared what I’d done, as long as I was happy. I could almost hear his voice, telling me how he’d move the earth to see a smile on my face, but it’d be better if I could do it myself.
I laughed to myself, thinking of my dad sitting outside on nights just like that one, hiding the fact that he was smoking from Mom. She always knew, of course. It was hard to hide that earthy smell. Some nights I would sit next to him and wonder how he saw the night sky. He was so different from me. He never got angry, never raised his voice. I had this idea that maybe he just saw colors in a cooler tone than me.
My heart broke the day he died. Life felt like it couldn’t go forward. I worried that I would spend my life trapped justwhere I was in that moment. Yet, there I was, living my life. I was enjoying myself and having fun. I was indulging myself in a way I hadn’t done in over a decade. Letting go of some of my bitterness and feeling things again.
Maybe part of me believed the names Stacy was calling me. Maybe that was why it hurt so much. Thinking of Dad, though, and knowing that he wouldn’t bat an eye about what I was doing, as long as I was happy, challenged those thoughts. If my own father would love and support me, I had to love and support myself. As silly as it seemed, thinking that way made me feel better. No less angry that I couldn’t punch Stacy, but less ashamed.
“You know, there are sharks out there, right?” Zeke’s voice broke through my thoughts, and his laugh was another soothing balm to my bruised ego.
“You’re an idiot.”
“Do you want me to come in to save you? I will. I watched Baywatch. I know how being saved can be sexy.” He raised his voice even more, probably letting the entire city know what he was saying. “Should I strip and run, or run and then strip?”
I swam closer to the shore and sighed. “Fine. I’m coming out. Not that I think you’re actually worried about a shark eating me.”
“Excuse you. I will always be worried about a shark coming up and taking a bite out of your sweet ass. Especially since that’s my job.” He grabbed me around the waist as soon as I stepped onto the beach and slapped my ass. “I would still like you, but I would mourn the loss of this ass.”
I grinned up at him and rolled my eyes. “I repeat. You’re an idiot.”
“Want to come in? I’ve got something for you.”
I nodded. “A gift?”
“It’s alarming how much you love gifts. I’m starting to worry that you don’t actually want me for my amazing hair and chef skills. Is it just about the gifts and the dick, Autumn? Is that all I am to you?”
I shoved him away and laughed. “It’s all about the gifts. I’d like a return on the dick.”
Gasping, he glared at me and then grabbed me and tossed me over his shoulder. Slapping my ass, he carried me into the house and down to the informal living room. “Boys, I have a mouthy little spitfire here who just may need an attitude adjustment.”
I moved around to see that Con and Griff were stretched out along the couches, watching. I wiggled to get free, but Zeke just circled the room again, still spanking me. It was so ridiculous that I couldn’t help but laugh. “Put me down, you big jerk!”
Finally, he dropped onto the couch between his brothers and caught my hands in his before I could smack him. “You want another spanking? Play nice.”
“I’m going to castrate you as soon as I get free. You know that, right?”
Griff pulled me into his lap and wrapped his arms around me. “You’re wet.”
I wiggled into his lap and settled in. “I was swimming.”
