“Did you tell them all the dirty details? Did you tell them about how you told me to wait for you at the pier, and while I waited, you had the Bergmans pack up my things and fire me? Did you tell them how while I waited on that pier, for hours, you were getting married in the most beautiful ceremony to the most perfect bride? And I had to walk home because the Bergmans didn’t know why you’d asked them to let me go, so they thought it was because I was a thief, or worse, so they didn’t want to give me a ride back to Montauk?”
Con jerked back when I lashed out at him. “Autumn! Stop!”
“I know you didn’t tell them the next part, Con, because you didn’t even know. I was pregnant.”
Con froze, even when I shoved him. “What?”
“I was pregnant. I found out that morning. I went back to Montauk with your baby growing inside me. And I thought, you know, just maybe, I’d have this baby and you’d realize you love me and you’d come back. Because I was nineteen and fucking stupid. I did everything right.” I shoved him again, crying. “I did everything right. It wasn’t enough, though. I lost the baby at seven months. She died, and they took her from me at the hospital.”
Con sank into the couch, his face shocked.
Griff came up behind me and gently put his hand on my shoulder. “Autumn, please. It’s not what you’re thinking. Let us in. Let us hear your story and help. We care about you.”
My deepest kept secret and insecurity was right there at the surface, and I couldn’t stop, couldn’t keep myself from letting everything else out. I wanted to hurt them with it, the way they’d hurt me. “Something went wrong. In the hospital. The doctor said I’d never have kids. I’m damaged. Broken. And the one thing I want more than anything in this world is never going to happen for me. So, hey, maybe you guys wouldn’t have wanted me anyway. Twenty million for a fucked-up woman who can’t even give you babies? That doesn’t seem right.”
Zeke stood in front of me, his face showing all the signs of being crestfallen. There were tears in his eyes that looked real. I was just too far into my pain to believe him. “Autumn, I’m so sorry that happened to you. So sorry. I’m also sorry that I was such an idiot and brought up the bet shit. We care about you, Autumn. We... There are deeper feelings there. Not just care. Let us show you.”
My entire body ached painfully as the realization of what I was doing washed over me. “Stacy was right.”
“What the fuck? No, she’s not, Autumn.” Griff turned me around to face him and bent down so we were eye to eye. “I’m fucking head over heels for you, sweetheart. You have to know that. Deep down, think about it. Don’t shut down on us. Don’t do it.”
I moved away from him and stepped around Zeke. “It’s fine. Now, no one loses any of their money, right? And Stacy can relax. I’m not a threat.”
“Motherfucker.” Griff tried to follow me, but Zeke put an arm across his chest to stop him. Griff shoved at his brother. “This is fucked. This can’t end like this. Not because of a stupid fucking bet.”
“I’m going to tell the kids goodbye. They deserve that.” My heart cracked open, and I gripped the doorway as I doubled over in tears. “I’ll clean up first.”
I backed through the door and closed it, shutting them away from me. I climbed the stairs to my room and cried while packing my bags. I was lost in my sorrow, lost in the feeling of being judged as a slut, and lost in the fear of what Stacy was going to do. Running away from everything was the only thing that felt right to me. I had to go.
I made myself stop crying long enough to order a car to drive me home. Then, I straightened my back and put a smile on my face to talk to the kids. Jenny didn’t say anything, but her eyes filled with tears as she watched me. She was so nice. It was no wonder Con had picked her.
I pulled the kids into a hug and quietly explained that something had come up and that I had to leave. I was barely holding it together, desperate to get away from them before I started sobbing.
“I love you three. I hope you know that. And I’m not leaving because of you or anything you did. I just have to go. I need to spend some time at home.”
Jones frowned. “Are you coming back?”
I bit my lip and paused to answer until my lip stopped wobbling. “I’m not really sure yet, Jones. That’s okay, though. You’ve got your dad in your corner. And your sister. And Sir Fluffy Butt and Wiggles. Right?”
He shook his head. “You can’t leave.”
Caroline’s eyes welled up with tears, and Grace crawled into her mom’s lap, confused and sad. Jones was the most intense, though. His face crumpled and he cried as he turned and left the room. I heard his bedroom door slam shut and quickly hugged Caroline goodbye.
“I love you. Tell your brother that I love him, too. Okay?” I kissed her forehead and then hurried out of the room.
I had to get out of there before I really broke down. I needed my mom.
Chapter 34
***Con***
It’d been twelve hours of silence. No one was speaking. Autumn’s phone was off. Zeke and Griff were each hiding out in their own spaces. Jenny had taken the kids, but before she left with them, they were each quieter than I’d ever seen them. The house was dead. There was no life in it without Autumn filling it.
I sat in the sand just outside of the house and stared out at the ocean without seeing it. I should’ve slept. I needed food and something to drink besides the whiskey from Griff’s liquor cabinet. It was all a waste on me, though.
A baby. A baby with Autumn. I couldn’t stop the thoughts that cratered through my brain like acid and left me nauseous. What if I could’ve provided her the care that could’ve saved the baby? What if the stress of having her heart broken and her job stolen had hurt the baby? Had I been responsible for the loss of life? The continued loss of life. Autumn was made to be a mother. She had so much heart. She brought color back to my life. The lives of my brothers, too.
I understood why she wouldn’t stop to listen and give us a chance. She’d done that before. Even after she found out I was a fucking disgraceful liar before, she’d given me one more chance. One more chance to meet her on the pier and have a life with her. I’d loved her then almost as much as I loved her sitting where I was, right in that moment.
