Some of Mom’s friends had called to apologize to her for what I was putting her through, so it was clear that that age group wasn’t as fond of me. Mom snapped at each of them, shouting into the phone, sometimes even after they’d hung up. She was on edge, to say the least.
I just felt sick to my stomach. My heart ached, and my stomach was revolting against me. I missed the guys. I missed the kids. I missed the dogs. It was miserable to have experiencedthose good mornings with them, almost like a little family, and to have lost it.
I didn’t know what to think. I was furious that they’d made a bet on who could get me, like I was some kind of game to be won, but I’d seen real care and concern from them. It was hard to be burned once and trust that it wouldn’t happen again if walking through the same fire. I wanted to believe the best, but was that just my brain tricking me to get me back by their sides?
Before I’d stopped looking at my phone, I’d had a message from Griff that asked me to come home. Zeke had left me a very drunken voicemail, telling me that he like-liked me and wanted to be with me always. Con, though... Con hadn’t reached out to me.
Part of me felt like I shouldn’t have told him about the baby. It was cruel. I’d suffered through the loss of our kid and had been able to move on, after a lot of therapy. It was new to him. If he was taking it even half as hard as I had, I didn’t blame him for not reaching out.
I was torn when it came to them. Oddly enough, having our business broadcasted, and seeing a glimpse of the response from people, had taken away my anxiety about how wrong or right it was to be involved with more than one man. People were always going to have their opinions, no matter the subject. All that mattered was what I wanted and that no one got hurt in the process of doing what I wanted. Despite that, I still didn’t know if I could trust the Phoenix brothers.
They were everything I’d thought was wrong with the society around me. Rich people with too much money and not enough sense. Rich parents with no sense of reality when it came to their kids. Or, at least that’s how I’d seen them for so long. Some of those things were still true. They would always have too much money. They would always be filthy rich and have a staff of people to take care of them. They would always think it wasacceptable to rent out an entire aquarium, just because. But Con was a good father and Griff was trying. I’d seen him grow.
Each morning I didn’t have breakfast with those kids broke my heart a little more. I’d grown so fond of them and their quirks. I missed them so much. I didn’t want to be someone who walked out of their lives.
I was so confused. I doubted myself nonstop. Had I made a mistake in walking out on them? Had I been too hasty in my anger? I cared for the three of them. I cared for them like I hadn’t cared for anyone since Con when I was a silly nineteen-year-old, full of hope. I couldn’t just go back to them, though. Not with Stacy trying to take the kids from Griff. And not with any doubts left that they were serious about me. I just couldn’t do it.
I was lost, hiding in my mom’s bedroom all day long, waiting on the next crappy thing to happen. I was worrying myself sick and so exhausted from not being able to sleep well at night. I just felt horrible and all I wanted to do was be held by Griff. Or Zeke. Or Con. Or all of them.
Sitting on Mom’s bed, nibbling at a pack of crackers, I flipped through the TV channels aimlessly. I felt like a blob, on the verge of becoming one with the bed. It wasn’t until Granny Lane strolled in and glared at me that I realized that I might be doing something wrong.
“You know what, you little shit? You’ve got three sexy men vying for you and you’re just wasting all that attention. You’re in here, stinking up your mother’s bed, instead of taking life by the balls! I didn’t help raise you to be this way. You get out of that bed and you take a shower, young lady.” She jabbed her finger at me and gave me a look that dared me to argue. “And when you’re cleaned up again, you come and sit with me in the living room. We have something to talk about.”
I got out of bed instantly because Granny Lane was terrifying, but I still grumbled. “I don’t stink.”
She was waiting on me in the living room with a bag from her favorite pharmacy next to her. “Sit down.”
I did as she said and frowned. “What’s gotten into you?”
She scoffed. “Me? What’s gotten into you? You’re not this sad Sally, sitting in her mom’s bed all day long. You’re a bold, brave woman who has never backed down from anything. So, tell me, Sally, why are you acting like this?”
“Granny, have you not heard a thing I’ve said lately? I had a relationship with three men and then found out they were just trying to win a bet.” I shook my head at her. “I have a right to be sad.”
“Would three men who were just trying to win a bet still be trying to get in touch with you? I took your phone. They’ve been calling and texting you.”
“You took my phone?”
“Hell, yes, I did. And I went to the pharmacy for you.” She tossed the bag to me. “Go take those and then call your men back, baby-cakes. I have a feeling that you’re going to have something to tell them.”
I looked into the bag and bit back a sob. I silently closed the bag and put it on the table between us. Staring at it for another beat, I stood up and walked back to Mom’s bedroom.
“Autumn? You need to take these.”
“I can’t have kids, Granny. Something happened during the still-birth. The doctor told me that I would never get pregnant.”
“I don’t care what the doctor said. I know the signs. Women in this family show in their boobs first. The sickness, the mood swings, the way you’ve been eating nothing but pickles. Your mom was the same way.”
I looked down at my boobs. They were fuller than usual, but I’d been eating more than just pickles. I’d been sneaking into thekitchen at night and eating big handfuls of whatever I could find. “Granny Lane. I love you, but this hurts. I want a baby more than anything, but it’s not going to happen.”
“Take the fucking tests, Autumn. Now.” She took me by the arm and pushed me towards the bathroom. “I’ll bet you twenty million that you’re as knocked up as a prom queen after the big dance.”
“Really, Granny? Now you’re bringing up the bet, too?”
“Make the bet if you’re so sure.”
“Fine. I’ll take the bet. And when you lose and owe me twenty million, I’ll take it out of your living expenses. No more curls at the beauty salon, you nut.”
She stomped back to the living room and came back with the bag. “You’re going to feel so stupid after you see how smart I am.”
