“Who’s Gregory?” I ask, without thinking, peering down at him on my shoulder. He starts laughing, and I can’t help but join.
“That’s my great-uncle,” Martin says, laughing. “I can’t believe you went to see him.”
“I would do anything for you, Martin,” I say with a laugh, “I think that’s what I’ve learned about myself from all this.”
“He loved you.” Martin says, standing up and looking me in the eyes. “Almost as much as I as I do. He won’t stop talking about you.” He slides one hand onto my cheek, and presses infor another long, soft kiss. I close my eyes and let the sensation move through me, trying to map it for later.
When he pulls away, I look away for a moment, and then back into his eyes. “I don’t know what this is, Martin. What I’m feeling.” I see the smile on his face straighten slightly. “All I know is that…”
He places a finger over my mouth. I feel the tenderness in his fingertip and never want it to leave my lips. “I’m going to stop you there,” he whispers. He moves his hand from my mouth and places it on my chest, over my heart. The warmth of his fingers passes through my shirt and ignites my skin. “Whatever you’re feeling here, I feel it too. It beats between us, and we don’t need to define it. We don’t need to assign words to it. We can just let it feel.” He smiles again in such an affirming way.
I place my hand over the same place on his chest and we stand there for a minute, feeling it beat between us.
I hear an old man’s voice in my head saying, “You don’t need permission.” I believe in that voice with every molecule of my being.
It beats between us.
Releasing his chest, I grab his cheeks and pull him into me, kissing him long and slow. I never want this feeling to end.
Time elapses around us, and the darkness of the garden holds us together for what seems like forever. We eventually, leave the window and walk hand-in-hand through the meandering pathway around the conservatory. Our eyes have adjusted enough to whatever light is coming from other areas of the garden, that our darkness doesn’t seem so dark. The shrubs and trees almost seem to sparkle around us.
“You never lied to me,” I murmur.
He looks at me, lifting an eyebrow, without losing step.
“That’s what I realized. When I found out it was you, I was hurt because you lied to me.” I squeeze his hand in mine. “But, then I couldn’t find a single time you lied to me. You worked out the whole adventure, listened to me tell you about it, and never lied to me.”
He smiles a gleaming smile at me, “I really just wanted you to have fun, dream a little, enjoy the mystery. That was the idea. Then, you changed me. You challenged me to be real and the adventures became something else. Your inhibition became intoxicating and I struggled to keep up. The day you bought me a coffee and didn’t know it, I will never forget that day. You inspire me, Liam.” He squeezes my hand.
We walk for a long while without speaking, letting the light from the stars guide our steps.
“I have something for you,” he says tentatively.
We stop, turning to face each other, and he looks at me, imploring. I smile at him. I have everything I need, right here.
“It’s probably a bit much. Tonight’s a bit overwhelming, but I’m going to go for it anyway.”
“Ichi-go Ichi-e,” I whisper. He looks deeply in my eyes, and his face curls into a smile. He giggles, then looks away. My attention is drawn to his jacket pocket, where he’s pulling out a rectangular item. It’s a small box, long and narrow. He presents it to me in the dim light with both hands and I see the word “Halloway Jewelers” printed across the top in gold lettering. The words glow in the darkness. And in my brain, which starts firing rapidly.
“From Halloway’s?” I breathe. Suddenly, my eyes erupt into rivers and I can’t hold back the tears, I’m wiping my nose with the back of my hand. I don’t even care what’s in the box. I know what this means to Martin, and through the tears my brain is click-clacking all the moments of that day into place. Thejewelry store, the missed phone call, Martin’s mom. I can’t see through the tears and I can’t stop them.
Martin looks down at the box. “At some point during your adventure, I lost track of what I was doing. I was just taking risks with our friendship, I guess. I was scared to mess it all up, and scared to let it slip away. I’m not as brave as you, Liam. I want you to have this.”
He lifts the lid to the box and inside is a gold puzzle piece. On a gold chain. Like the one Martin wears around his neck. I find myself checking his neckline to see if it’s still there, like he’s giving me his. It’s there on his neck. And in this box.
The tears are flowing freely. My hands refuse to move.
“We’re a fit, Liam. You and me. We fit together in a way I never dreamed.” He looks from the box to my face. His lower lip is quivering. “I was going to tell you that day, but…” His voice breaks.
I’m stunned. Wordless. I focus on the necklace, hoping it will ground me in some way, anchoring me back to this spot. I reach for it, fumbling slightly. We are both shaking. He helps me get it around my neck, which brings both tears and laughter, and all I want to do his hold him. Pull him close. Never let him go.
So I do.
The garden rolls around us for who knows how long, and we end up finding a bench in the darkness of the sculpture garden. We spend half the night talking, laughing, understanding, and the other half holding, leaning, kissing. Before we know it the sky is bluing and the shadows of the garden begin to fade.
Martin sits upright in a lurch, “The bloom!” he bellows. “We’re missing it.” I’m gasping. He grabs my hand and we run, full speed through the garden, taking a wrong turn twice before we find the entrance to the conservatory again.
The door is locked. There’s no one in sight. I pull on the door handle as Martin leans his back against the glass, grabbing his forehead.
