“I… thought he might be the one, ya know?” She scoffed a breathy laugh and tucked her hair behind her ear. “Then again, he never saw me as more than a plaything, so who am I kidding?”
I snorted a sarcastic sound. “Tell me about it. Decimus and me, we have our own history. I know him for who he really is. Let’s just say, he got the job for more reasons than you’ll ever understand. You probably dodged a bullet, to be honest.”
She slumped forward in her seat. I realized my comment had done more harm than good and swore to myself under my breath for it. “That’s what everyone tells me, but… they haven’t lost as much as I have.”
I sat up straighter, giving her my full attention. “Lost? Care to elaborate?”
Emmeline abruptly shied away from me, shaking her head rapidly. “No, I, I need to stop talking! This is way too much to dump on my mentor! You’ll never hire me if I can’t handle my emotions!”
“I’d rather hire someone who has emotions rather than a robot,” I assured her.
She brought her hands down from her hair and sighed deeply. “I don’t have good luck with keeping people around. My parents always joked that it was because I was a Death Elemental, thateverything I touched seemed to die… and then they were killed in a demon attack. My parents, my boyfriend, my brother… everyone close to me has died horrible deaths, and I can’t help but feel like the plague that brought this upon them. I have no one except for an older sister, who I fear everyday will fall victim to my curse as well.”
“I’m so incredibly sorry for your losses,” I began, laying a hand on hers to show my condolences. She didn’t pull away, but she didn’t react much, either. “I cannot imagine how much pain you’re really holding back.”
“All I have left is this job. It’s the only thing I want in this world. I want to prove I’m not an omen of death, that I can have people around me, and I can lead them away from their demise, but I’m so scared that people will keep getting hurt when I’m around…”
I squeezed her hand lightly as I spoke, “Emmie, you can’t think like that. Have you been dealt really shitty cards, yeah, maybe, but that doesn’t mean you’re some kind of horrible omen. There was no way you’d be able to predict that these things would happen, and you can’t blame yourself for them happening. Your parents… that’s part of the job, unfortunately, and we all know that. Decimus was a target because of his connection to me, nothing to do with you, and that is something I blame myself for every second of every day. But, I take solace in knowing I gave him another chance to do something, to still have a life to some degree.”
“Do people die around you a lot, too?” she whispered morosely.
I cracked a sly smile. “Yeah, but it’s usually because I’m the one killing them.” She let out a gorgeous laugh, something I hadn’t ever heard from her before, that filled me with warmth and excitement from getting her to react this way. I let her get it out fully before continuing, “I’ve lost a lot in other ways beyonddeath, but I understand the feeling of thinking you’re a bad omen. I always see myself as this depressing cloud in my loved one’s lives, a menace to their happiness, but they make it their mission to convince me otherwise.”
“How do you move past those thoughts? That you’re nothing more than a hazard?” she peeped as she chewed on the zipper of her undershirt.
“I remind myself of the importance of my job, of my place in the world. Without me, souls would not complete their journey and have a wonderful chance at an afterlife. Without me, the cycle for living things would end in a horrible, wasteful manner, where nothing ever mattered in the end. As my fiancé once said, “I can make living things, sure, but everything I create eventually dies. Everything I touch comes with the weight that it will one day face an end, some tragic, some not, but an end, nonetheless.” He told me that my element is the true beauty, because I give his ‘failed’ creations a new purpose. I’ve held that close to my chest, especially when I feel bad about myself.”
“I never thought of it that way,” she said in awe.
“Just because we’re Death Elementals doesn’t mean we are meant to drag the world down with us. We are just as, if not the most, important element, and without us, no one and nothing would have anything to look forward to after death.” I squeezed her chin to make her giggle lightly. “Everything that has happened to you is based on coincidence, not circumstance. I don’t want you to blame yourself any more than you have. You need community, friends, a place to belong, and I want you to have that as one of my Elementals. We are all here for you, Emmie, so let us be your support as you navigate this complex road called life.”
Emmeline finally broke a full, loving smile, and squeezed my fingers back. She tucked some hair behind her ear and nodded eagerly. “Yeah, I see what you mean. I have made a lot of friendssince coming to Odrikius. It’s been nice to distance myself from Valyce, from the bad memories, and to prove I’m here for a reason. I really hope that, one day, I can work alongside you. That I can keep other Elementals from getting hurt the way my family did, and that I can keep more families from being torn apart by the hands of some shitty demons.”
“Who knows…” I winked heavily at her. “I’m on the hunt for my second-in-command Demon Hunter, and that spot surely has room for a courageous young woman like yourself.”
“You really mean that?” she squeaked hopefully.
“I really do.” I gestured to the table of demon rulers. “Why don’t you go get a head start on those questions. I don’t want you to miss out on this experience. I’ve taken enough of your time.”
“Will do!” She jumped up but paused briefly to turn and blink at me. Suddenly, she rushed forward and put her arms out. “Can I have a hug, please?”
I beamed at her gesture and stood to welcome her into my embrace properly. “You certainly can. I’ll be here for hugs whenever you need them.”
“I have a feeling I may need a few.” She had begun to cry in my shirt. I concealed her from the room to give her a moment, smoothing locks of her copper curls down lovingly. I knew this was the first time in a while that she had cried, could tell based on her personality, and was glad that I could give her relief enough to let it out.
Maybe I wasn’t such a bad God after all.
Chapter eighteen
Like a Deer in Headlights
Atlas
Ibounced around my office in the Shadow Realm trying to fasten my boots on. Magnus watched me with a raised eyebrow, quite amused by the spectacle. “I’m late, I’m late!” I sobbed as I fought with the laces. “Nick is going to kill me!”
“Some God of Death you are. Who’s late to their successor’s showing of Gehenna, literally the most important Realm to Demon Hunters?”
“I don’t need your input, Magnus!” I barked, but he just laughed in my face.
