My fingers feel as if they’re going numb as my body shakes with the stress of saying fuck it and finishing the job or being a good girl and answering the call. I’ve done what I’ve been told to for a long damn time, why can’t I just ignore orders this one last time.
The stress makes my fingers drop the razor blade into the water, and I gaze in distress as my escape from life disappears as well. Something soft hits my face, and I dunk my wrist in the bath to hide it.
Lifting the towel, I gaze dispassionately at the guard who is glaring at me from my bedroom. So much for privacy.
“Dry your hands and get moving,” he snarls at me. “Call the fucker back or it’ll go badly for you.”
“Fine. I was working on picking it up, but I won’t do it with an audience,” I rasp.
“It’s not like everyone hasn’t seen your tits by this point.”
I’m not concerned about my nudity, but rather my failed half hearted attempt to kill myself. I can’t even fucking do that right because I hesitated. I also don’t want someone listening to mypart of the conversation. Papa couldn’t get any spyware on this phone, even though he tried.
Nico did something to it to keep my father from altering anything on the device.
I wait for him to leave, carefully drying my hand while keeping my other wrist hidden from him. I do it nonchalantly and haughtily as if I’m better than him. I only act the part of a spoiled mafia princess when it’ll save my life.
“You’re so fucking ugly now. I have no idea how you’re going to pull off getting married now.” The grumble is thrown at me as he leaves my bedroom, and I force the words to roll over me.
I am ugly, but at least now my outside matches my insides.
Pressing the towel against my bleeding wrist, I pick up the phone with my right hand. Of course, I cut the wrist of my dominant arm first.
Nico’s name flashes across the screen yet again, and I accept it with a sigh. My voice is way more fucked up than it was before. This should be awesome.
He made sure to program his number in the device, as if I’d think anyone else was calling. I’d roll my eyes if they weren’t already throbbing in my head.
“Hello, Nicolai.” What can I say? I’m a brat sometimes.
“Rosa.”My name is said like a prayer, and I close my eyes at the emotion in it. He doesn’t know me well enough to do this.
“That’s my name.” I shudder as a cough hits me, sloshing the water as I struggle through it. God, I sound fucking terrible. It also ruins the bratty, spoiled view of me he seemed to have.
“I’m picking you up and taking you to the doctor. You don’t sound well.”
“I’m fine,” I gasp. “Don’t come here. Just…please.”
The call turns to a video request, which I ignore because he can’t see me like this. No one can.
“Do I need to remind your father that harming my property isn’t in his best interests?”
My lips twitch as I drop my head back, watching as the small towel I have pressed against my wrist turns red with blood. Did my small cut go too deep?
Meh, it’ll be fine. I feel a little floaty as my pain receptors clash with the endorphins being released from having control over one thing, and I fear this could be addicting.
“I’m sure he would tell you I’m perfectly fine,” I wheeze. I’ve been having trouble getting enough oxygen lately, due to the pain in my ribs. I can't wrap them tightly enough on my own, which means I’ve been wearing one of my corsets to compress the area.
“Accept the video call, Rosa.”
“He’ll kill me if I do,” I reply. Hmm. I’m much too truthful. Shit. “I’ll see you in two weeks, Nico. I’m fine.”
“Let me tell you a few things,”he growls. “My chest has hurt since I left your home. I’ve gone through multiple different rabbit holes of what could be happening to you, as I’m not currently having a heart attack. I know because I had an appointment with a doctor who told me this is anxiety.”
“There are pills for that.”
“If only I could take a pill to make me feel better. Instead, all I can think about is you. Even my pack is struggling to keep me from leaving my rental. Tell me something real.”
I think about Verona and purse my lips. She’s the only thing real about me. I’m glad she hasn’t returned to the house. I hope she doesn’t, as it’s the only way to keep her safe.
