That’s what I became, Stephen. That’s the choice I made.
And then everything fell apart.
Not long after Caroline took my son, something else would happen that would alter my life forever and have me and our daughter running again. This time from everyone we knew. Something I’m not ready to talk about yet.
We settled in New Orleans. I knew you hated the city. Knew it was the last place you would look. I thought we were safe.
But things always get worse.
As I write this, we are living with the Bourbon Kings. For the first time in my life, I feel safe. Even though I’m dying, knowing that I’ll never see our daughter fall in love, get married, have children. I feel free. Free from the legacy of my family, from the mistakes I’ve made. The choices that led me to the darkest places I’ve ever been.
Once I’ve told you everything, then I can leave this earth with my conscience clear. Not free of the guilt I’ve lived with my whole life, but free from the burden of carrying the secrets I’ve lived with.
Four years after she walked away with my son, Caroline found us. I don’t know how, but when she learned I had a daughter I never told her about, she was furious.
I never knew what she’d done with the little boy I gave birth to—not until then. Not until she called me with a demand.
Caroline never judged me for having a child and not knowing who the father was. But she never forgot it either. Or how I’d gotten pregnant with him in the first place.
And then she told me what she wanted me to do.
There were people after her. One of them was her son.
Her son!
Do you remember Max? He was only about four years old when we met. He was a sweet little boy, always running through the clubhouse, his blond hair in his eyes. I didn’t want to believe the story she was telling me, but she was convincing.
It wasn’t until it was too late that I learned the truth. That everything that had happened to Caroline she deserved. Yet, she was still my sister. My twin.
When she called, she told me another chapter in the club was coming for her. The Florida Chapter was closer and would be there first. She just needed time to get away.
So I made another choice.
I met with Toxic and his men in Louisiana. And I gave them the only thing I had left to bargain with. My body. Again. One more time. I whored myself out to delay them from going to that plantation. To protect both of my children the only way I knew how.
Because if they’d gone, Caroline would have killed them. Both of them. And I couldn’t let that happen.
So I became that woman again. The one who trades her body for safety. The one who sacrifices her dignity, her soul, everything she has left, to keep her children alive.
And it worked. Toxic never showed.
But the nightmare didn’t end there.
Because Caroline had lied to me. She had told me our daughter and my son were in danger. Because they were related to her, because Max had lost his mind and wanted to kill everyone related to her.
It wasn’t until after she died that I learned the truth.
She kidnapped my son. Took him from the only father he’d ever known and held him at a plantation in Louisiana. Used him as leverage. As a weapon.
And that was the least of her crimes. A woman died because of what I did. Because I used my body to keep the Golden Skulls from getting to the plantation on time.
When I found out what Caroline had done, that she had my son, that she was hurting him, that he was suffering because of choices I’d made, I wanted to die. I wanted to take it all back. Every decision. Every compromise. Every sacrifice that had led to this moment.
But you can’t take it back.
My brother James had been killed earlier that year. And then I was the only Dougal left. I thought maybe now life would be different. No more James, no more Caroline, no more deception, or lies, or blackmail.
Samuel was returned to Matrix, the man who was raising him, the only father he’d ever known. Please don’t let our daughter look for him. Please don’t let his life be uprooted again. He doesn’t deserve to be saddled with the Dougal name.
