Neither Mae nor I spoke as we left the house, the cold slapping us in the face in a way that felt like it was cleansing away the feeling of distaste the evening had left us with. I started the truck, headlights warm amber in the darkness, and drove back towards town, my hands clenching the steering wheel, knuckles white, jaw clenched.
‘Are you OK?’ Mae asked softly, after a few minutes.
‘It’s me who should be asking you that,’ I said harshly. ‘I’m so sorry. I should never have taken you there.’
She made a noise. ‘Yeah, I don’t exactly fit in your world.’
I took my eyes off the road for a second to gape at her. ‘Are you kidding? That’s not what I meant.’
‘It’s fine, Jonah.’
‘No, it’s not. I’m not going to let my mother or anyone treat you the way she just did. Going on about Jessica and the past in front of you while my family just sit idly by and let her. I love my father and my siblings, but they enable her with their passiveness, and it’s driving a wedge between us.’ I sighed. ‘They joke about how I hardly ever stay the whole evening, but they’ve never had to deal with what I have. The relentless pressure to conform into the life she wants me to live. They’ve had the freedom to seek out their own paths, whereas I, by the terrible misfortune of being born first, bear the brunt of her attention.’
‘I think your mother is just struggling to accept that she’s not going to get the fairy-tale ending for you two that she obviously wanted.’
‘I don’t care. It was low, even for her.’
‘And you told her that. I just hate that I caused trouble between you two.’
I laughed without mirth. ‘My mother and I have been butting heads since long before you came along, believe me. None of tonight was your fault.’
‘It might make looking after Gray a bit awkward,’ she fretted. ‘Maybe I should ask for someone else to be assigned to his care.’
‘Please don’t do that. Dad really likes you.’
‘I don’t know.’
‘Please, Mae. He shouldn’t miss out on your kindness and expertise because of my mother.’
‘OK. I won’t decide now. I’ll see how it is on my next visit.’
‘Thanks.’ I felt the tension of the evening start to lift off my shoulders with every mile I put between my mother and I.
‘What now?’ Mae asked. ‘The night is still pretty young. Should we go to the bar for a drink or are you too tired from your fishing trip?’
I flashed her a smile. ‘I had an afternoon nap, so I’m good for another few hours at least. Besides, even if I was falling asleep,I’m not ready to say goodnight to you just yet. Unless you’re sick of me already?’
‘I’ve got a better idea than the bar,’ she said. ‘Can you take me home instead?’
23
MAE
The cottage was small, sure, but it looked even smaller with Jonah inside. He kicked off his boots at the door and sat on the small two-seater couch in the little living area, looking huge, like a giant with his knees folded up around his ears.
‘Comfortable?’ I asked from over by the oven.
He adjusted his body. ‘Very. Why? Don’t I look it?’
I got a pot out of the cupboard. ‘Not particularly.’
‘I’m more comfortable here than I’ve ever been at my mother’s house, put it that way. What are you making over there?’
‘I thought I would make us a decadent hot chocolate. The old-fashioned way.’
‘Old-fashioned as opposed to?’
‘A sachet from a box.’
