“I can get it,” I say.
She looks at me, surprised.
“I’m already up.” I take her bowl too. “Do you want more?”
Her fingers tighten around the edge of it before she lets go. “Yes, please.”
It’s a small thing. Dad probably doesn’t even notice, but Mom does.
When I return to the table, she gives me a faint smile. There’s gratitude in it, but there’s something else too. Something that makes me think she understood the question I was really asking in the kitchen, even if she couldn’t answer it.
I sit down and look at the two of them. Dad fills every silence because he believes his thoughts are the only ones worth sharing. Mom makes herself smaller so there’s always enough room for him.
That’s the future he wants for me. For the first time, I let myself admit that I don’t want it. I don’t know how to stop it yet, and I don’t know what will happen when Dad realizes I’m not willing to become the woman he’s chosen for me.
I only know that sitting here quietly won’t make the feeling go away.
TWO
JACOB “TINY” WELLINGTON III
I’m sittingat the far end of the bar in Perdition with a half-empty bottle of beer in front of me, watching my brothers turn into something I don’t recognize anymore.
The place is loud like it always is on a Friday night. The music is thumping low, pool balls cracking, smoke and whiskey hanging in the air. But none of that shit is what’s got my attention.
It’s them. Weston and Wyatt are posted up on the big corner couch with Hadley between them. Weston’s got his arm around her shoulders, fingers playing with her hair. Wyatt’s hand rests heavy on her thigh, thumb stroking slow like he’s got every right to touch her however he wants. She leans into both of them without a second thought.
My eyes slide over to Steele and Erica in the next booth. He’s got one big hand wrapped around the back of her neck while he talks to Rook. Every few minutes he dips his head and murmurs something against her ear that makes her cheeks go pink.
Cole and Tessa are a few stools down from me, Tessa tucked back against Cole’s chest like she belongs there. And over by thejukebox, Scarlett’s leaning into Rook with that soft look on her face that says she’s exactly where she wants to be.
I drain the rest of my beer and signal the prospect for another.
All around me, my brothers are pairing off. Finding their old ladies. Building something real. And here I am, sitting at the bar like some sad, single bastard watching it all happen.
I twist the new bottle in my hands and stare at the label without seeing it.
Maybe I’m just getting old. Maybe the life that used to feel like enough is starting to feel like not enough. Or maybe I’m just tired of going home to an empty bed every night with nobody to reach for.
Whatever it is, it’s got its claws in me tonight. I’m so deep in my own head I don’t even notice Hadley until she’s standing right in front of me, one hand on her hip, head tilted like she’s trying to figure me out. “What’s wrong with you?” she asks, blunt as ever.
I blink at her, then glance past her shoulder at the twins. Weston’s watching us with a smirk. Wyatt just raises an eyebrow like he already knows this is about to get loud.
I slam my beer down on the bar a little harder than necessary and throw both hands up in the air.
“What’s wrong with me?” I repeat, loud enough that half the damn clubhouse turns to look. “I’ll tell you what’s wrong with me, cupcake. I’m sitting here watching every single one of my brothers get themselves an old lady while I’m over here dying a slow, tragic, lonely death!”
Hadley’s eyebrows shoot up, but I’m already on a roll.
“Look at them!” I gesture wildly toward the twins. “Those two used to be the biggest man-whores in three states and now they’re over there sharing one woman like it’s the most normal thing in the world! And they’re happy! Both of them! At the same time!”
Weston snorts. Wyatt just grins.
I spin toward Steele and Erica next. “And you!” I point at Steele. “You used to be the meanest bastard in this club and now you’re over there petting your woman like she’s a damn kitten! I saw you kiss her forehead earlier. Forehead! What the hell happened to you?”
Erica buries her face in Steele’s chest, shoulders shaking with laughter. Steele just flips me off without even looking up.
I keep going, getting louder, arms flailing like I’m putting on a one-man show. “Cole’s got Tessa wrapped up like a damn security blanket, but like, who didn’t see that one coming? Rook’s over there looking at Scarlett like she hung the fucking moon! And me?” I slap a hand over my heart and stagger back a step like I’ve been shot. “I’m over here drinking alone like some washed-up, lonely giant while the rest of you assholes are out here living in some kind of twisted romance novel!”
