Me: Kick him in the shin.
Buttercup: Tiny.
Me: What? It's just rude.
Me: Fine. Step on his foot.
Buttercup: ??????
Me: Rule number two.
Me: If he spends the whole dinner talking about himself...
Me: Fake a stomachache.
Buttercup: That's terrible advice.
Buttercup: I've actually never been on a date before.
Me: Wait. Ever?
Buttercup: No. Dad never let me.
I lean back against the couch and let out a slow breath.
Me: Okay. New rule.
Me: If he tries to hold your hand...
Me: Politely say no.
Me: Then bite him if he doesn't listen.
Buttercup: ?????? Okay.
Buttercup: Thank you for taking this so well. I'm sorry.
Me: Buttercup, what are you apologizing for?
Buttercup: I don't want my first date to be with someone else.
I close my eyes. Hell.
Me: Then don't let him ruin your first.
Me: Dinner's just dinner.
Me: I'll take you on one that actually counts.
A full minute goes by. Then two.
Buttercup: I'd really like that.
I grin like a complete idiot. No church boy was ever going to take that away from me.
Friday
I pullinto the compound a little after two, kill the engine, and sit there a minute. My body finally feels like mine again. I swing off the bike and head inside, but my steps drag knowing Lucy's date is tonight.
