“I know there is nothing I can say that will take away the pain of her loss. My heart breaks for you. I also know you are a wonderful man. You get to be happy, Ryan. I’m sure she would want you to be happy.”
“You make me happy, and it’s terrifying,” he confesses. “When I found you so sick, I felt like I was going to lose my mind with worry. If it wasn’t for Finn’s late-night delivery and Claire’s reassurance, I may have. Hospitals terrify me, but I would have taken you there in a heartbeat if I needed to.”
Dropping my hands to his shoulders, I ask quietly, “You know I’m okay, right?”
“I do…but I still feel the overwhelming need to take care of you and make your life easier.”
“I understand that. I really do, and I appreciate it. But we are going to have to find a balance,” I say, pushing his hair from his forehead. “I’m learning how to stand on my own two feet. You can be a part of the journey, but I need to figure some of this out on my own.”
“You know I can help you out with money, right?” When I start to pull away, his fingertips dig into my hips to hold me in place.
“I don’t want your money.” I shake my head. “I make good money; I just need Braden out of my life for good, so I can get ahead again.”
“Maybe I can help with that? I could talk to him for you,” he suggests.
“I don’t think so.” When he begins to protest, I place two fingers over his lips. “I promise I will ask for help if I need it.”
“Will you promise to keep me in the loop? Please don’t shut me out anymore. If he’s harassing you, I don’t want to find out about it after the fact or from someone else. That’s what relationships are about. Trust, looking out for each other, and knowing you never have to face things alone.”
“And is that what this is?” I ask, searching his eyes. “A real relationship?”
“I want it to be.” His eyes don’t waver from mine, and I feel something inside me settle into place.
“Me too.”
And I mean it.
Twenty-Eight
“Have you decided what you’re doing today?” I ask Ryan as I flit between the kitchen and the living room, making sure everything is perfect.
“Logan asked me to go with him to the prison to see Jackson. When everyone gets here, we’ll head out,” he says as he puts his mug in the dishwasher.
“Really? He never mentioned it at work this week.”
“I think it’s an impulsive decision, and he wants to go before he changes his mind. And possibly under the radar so their mother doesn’t know. He asked me to go with him in case they need a mediator.”
“You can do that?” I pause and tilt my head.
“I won’t be there in an official capacity. Just a friend who can help them stay on track. They have a lot of things to work through if they are going to repair their relationship.”
“Does Jackson know you both are coming?” The last time they saw each other, Jackson ended up with a broken nose. I didn’t think he would be interested in having a reunion soon.
“As far as I know, he does.”
“Huh.”
“Are you ready for book club? Do you need any help?” he asks as I light a cherry cheesecake-scented candle I placed in the centre of the long harvest table.
“I don’t think so.” At this point, I’m only creating work for myself. “I don’t know why I’m so nervous. It’s not like we don’t get together all the time.”
“I don’t think it’s weird at all.” He takes my hand in his and gives it a quick squeeze. “This is important to you. Have you ever hosted before?”
“No, we usually go to Hannah’s cabin. But now that I have space, I invited everyone here instead.”
“I’m sure it will be great,” he assures me.
My mouth curves into a broad smile when I hear a soft knock on the back door. My favourite five-year-old is here.
