Does she have my eyes?
Sydney’s smile?
Does she ask questions about where her dad is?
Or has she grown up without ever wondering about me?
There is nothing more to be done at the theater, and I can’t concentrate, so I head back to the ranch. The first person I’m telling is Riley, and I make that call as soon as I get back to the ranch. I dial as I pace around it in circles. I feel like I have had time to gather my thoughts, and with Riley being a dad, and knowing Sydney, talking things through with him will hopefully bring me some clarity.
“Hey, man,” Riley answers.
“I need advice,” I say immediately.
“Alright,” he says slowly, “what’s up?”
“I called Sydney back,” I admit.
“Okay…”
I rub my hand on the back of my neck. “She says I have a daughter.”
The silence on the other end stretches for a second.
Then Riley lets out a whistle. “Holy shit.”
“Yeah.”
“How old?” he asks.
“Three,” I respond.
Another pause, before he asks, “You, okay?”
“No.”
“Understandable,” he says.
I drag a hand through my hair. “I don’t even know what I’m supposed to do with this.”
Riley’s voice shifts into the calm, steady tone he uses when things actually matter. “First thing, you breathe,” he says. “Second thing, you slow down.”
“My brain is currently trying to plan the next eighteen years of my life.”
“Yeah,” he says. “That’s the exact opposite of slowing down.”
I make my way to my parents’ porch and sit down.
“Did she ask for anything?” he asks.
“No.”
“Money?”
“No.”
“Did she say she wants you involved?”
“She said she wasn’t expecting anything, just that it felt unfair not to tell me!” I explained.
