“If I am no more to you than a bargain made, why didn’t you tell me we’d not live at Everdene in the first place?” Grace demanded. “I will keep your damnable pact if you can look me in the eye and tell me these past weeks have been a lie.”
“Grace—”
“Tell me!Are you the Lord Everdene so many people warned me about? The man who struck that cold contract? The ruthless man who lied to me. Or are you the husband who bathed me so tenderly after the riot? Who carried Sibby Rose to safety? Who let Scrap play with a pocket watch. Are you the man I see on the pillow beside me when I wake, looking at me as if…as if I am precious to him and he can scarcely believe…” Her voice broke, and tears brimmed in her eyes. “Who are you, Lucien?”
He scarce knew anymore. The man he’d once been would not have hesitated to deal a necessary blow to drive her away. But he needed her like he needed his next breath.
“You want to know why I didn’t tell you I’d not live at Everdene? Because I am a man who has always taken what I wanted and I wanted you. When we encountered Freyne at Gunter’s and I saw the way he looked at you, I knew telling you about my agreement with Cassandra might push you into that bastard’s arms and I couldn’t endure it. I didn’t want to love you. Hell, I didn’t think I was capable of any such feeling, but somewhere between the moment I pulled you from the lake and the night of the riot I knew.” His voice broke. “I love you, Grace. The thought of you being hurt because of me…it’s my worst fear come real.”
Tears brimmed in her eyes. “Living without you is mine.”
She took his hand, brought it to her stomach. “This babe…it’s part of you,” she said softly, “part of me, made from our love.”
“When is the child to come?”
“Sometime in May.”
He closed his eyes, cradling that spark of life in his palm. He had never known anything more worthy of defending than this woman, this child.
Sliding one hand around her nape, he drew her mouth to his, kissing her so gently he felt her smile.
“I’m not made out of glass, Lucien. You won’t break me.”
He was still afraid for her, and yet…this was Grace…“You are the strongest person I know. I didn’t even know what love meant until I staggered out of that lake and saw you with your brothers. I only know that I want to be the man who sees your eyes shine. I want to be the man who kisses pink frosting from your fingertips and holds you when you weep over characters in books and children in factories. I want to fight alongside you to change things, things I’ve only seen because you wouldn’t letme look away. Because if it is possible to change things for the factory children, it is possible for me to change as well.”
She raised her fingers to his mouth, stopped him.
“You are not the only one who has changed since we’ve been together. I had lost myself after Mama died. I was so busy caring for everyone else. You…sawme. Dragged me back out into the world where I felt…felt everything. Anger. Grief. Passion. You helped me remember what it meant to see things through my own eyes, not everybody else’s. You wouldn’t let me keep surrendering myself to what other people wanted for me.”
“You have the right to choose.”
“I do.” She cupped his jaw in her hand, and he felt those delicate fingers rasp against his beard. “I choose you. Whatever is to come.”
She drew him toward his bed, the one they had never slept in. Slowly, he unfastened her gown, slid the bodice off of her shoulders, taking his time undressing her until she stood before him in all her naked loveliness. He skimmed his hands over the slight swell of her belly, the fullness of her breasts with their darkened nipples, and he wondered how had he not known she was with child.
“You are so beautiful,” he praised as she helped him shed his own clothes, his skin heating with each brush of her fingers. “We will fight this together, my love. And when it is over…” He laughed suddenly, surprising himself, and she turned her sweet face up to his.
“I so love your laugh. When it is over—what?” she asked.
“For the first time in my life, I don’t know what comes next. I have no idea how to be a good father. How to be the husband you deserve. But swear I will learn.”
He scooped her into his arms, lay her upon the coverlets, then followed her down.
“We will fight whoever is behind these threats together,” Grace said as he traced her cheek with his fingertips. “I love you, Lucien. We cannot have come so far in our love to have it snatched away.”
Lucien buried his face in her neck, breathing in the sweet, jasmine scent as he covered her body with his own.
He worshiped her body like the miracle she was, infusing everything he felt into making love to her, his beautiful, brave wife who had dared love him.
But even as they lost themselves in release, he held her with a fierceness that nearly undid him.
He knew just how devastating it was when the one you loved was snatched away. And the man stalking Grace was still out there, somewhere.
A snake preparing to strike.
CHAPTER 34
In three hours this interminable wait would be over, Lucien told himself as he paced the townhouse. Guests would arrive, the party commence, and at least some of the tension coiling in his belly would ease. Simon and McLeod seemed confident everything was under control, he reassured himself, and they had spent years in the military, on guard against ambush.
