My dearest Grace,
I hope that I will be able to watch you walk down the aisle of The Willows chapel to wed the man you love. But, it seems that is not a wish that will be granted me. I pray this gown will remind you on your special day how deeply loved you are, as well as carry my prayers for all the happiness you can hold. Love bravely, my precious daughter, and demand the same courage from the man you choose. Know that I am always with you. Just look up at our star.
Your own Mama
The familiar script blurred before Grace’s eyes, and a tear dropped onto the page. She swiped it away with her thumb, smearing the ink.
How many times had Grace told her brothers just that? Looked at the stars…imagining that their mother was there.
By the timeGrace returned to the manor house, the footmen had loaded a trunk into the back of the carriage and the time for parting was at hand.
Helen had remained in her room, and Papa had gone to comfort her, but Will and the three boys had come into the courtyard to see them off.
“Come now, sailors,” Will urged the forlorn little crew. “Let’s give Captain Grace a proper send off as she sets out across the seas. In line. Attention! Salute!” The three boys obeyed, looking heartbreakingly young.
She leaned down to kiss Ethan who was struggling manfully not to cry, then Avery who stood rigid as if facing a firing squad. Bennet, the tender-hearted, flung his arms around her legs and clung tight.
“G-Grace…I have something for you.” He thrust something hard and lumpy into her hand. She looked down and saw the chipped toy figure he called Lord Admiral Nelson.
“Oh, oh Bennet!” she gasped, touched by the offer, yet dismayed. “I can’t possibly take this!”
“You must!” he insisted. “Promise you will keep him in your pocket all the time. Lord Admiral will keep you safe from bad men.”
Bennet looked at Lucien, as if fearing Grace’s new husband could rival Bonaparte himself.
Ethan wrinkled his nose, though there was a hint of fear in his grimace. “Hethinks you won’t come back, but if you have Lord Nelson, you’ll have to visit us.”
“Of course I’ll visit you! That’s why I—” she cut herself off, began again, “—why I am happy I will be living so near.”
Avery made a scoffing noise. “Don’t lie! You’ll be in London and having babies of your own and you’ll forget all about us like Papa did!” Avery balled his fists. “Ihateyou for leaving us.”
“Whoa, there!” Will protested, but Grace clung to her calm, hiding how hurt she was.
“Ilove you, Avery,” she said. “Always. No matter what. And Iwillvisit. You’ll see.”
Will scooped the boy up, flinging him over his shoulder despite Avery’s size and age. “I think I’ll dump this one in the horse trough to cool his temper!” The boys always delighted in brotherly horseplay, but this time Avery wrenched free. His face crumpled with anguish. “I hate you, Grace!” he cried again, then turned and bolted.
Grace took a step after him, but Lucien touched her arm. She looked up into ice-blue eyes.
“Best to let him go,” he said softly. “You’ll only prolong the pain.”
It was true. But that didn’t make this severing hurt any less. Lucien slipped his arm about her waist, firm yet gentle. Warm.
She bit her lip to keep from crying.
“Go on, Gracie,” Will said, the childhood nickname one more stab to her heart. “I’ll see to Avery.”
She climbed into the coach with Lucien and the horses set out at a brisk trot. Grace turned in her seat, aching at the sight of Ethan and Bennet leaning against Will. She pressed the tin soldier against her heart and watched her brothers until they headed back to the home they’d always known.
The home that would never be hers in the same way again.
CHAPTER 21
Grace climbed down from the coach outside the old steward’s house, still heartsick over the painful encounter at The Willows that afternoon. In the two days since their wedding, she and Lucien had not shared a bed, and even the countess’s best wishes were edged with concern. Grace had hoped to drive back some measure of her sorrow by being welcomed by the Harcourts. She would have given anything to be embraced by Jane or Penelope, to have someone assure her she’d done the right thing. But she sensed that the precipitous London wedding had rattled Lucien’s family nearly as much as it had done her own.
His mother had continued on to her cottage in Galen’s Well, saying newlyweds needed time alone. The rest of the family had, apparently, left Everdene Hall immediately after the messenger Lucien had sent ahead informing them of the elopement.
A note in Simon’s scrawled hand was the only greeting they received, stating that he and Penelope were delivering Cassandra and Jane for a visit with friends met on the voyage from Italy. He then planned to go on to evaluate a stud he was considering adding to the Everdene stables. Simon and Penelopewould not return to Everdene for a fortnight. They would celebrate the marriage then.
