The warrior swept her a bow full of reverence. "I will go aid the lady Aniera. It seems she plans to brew a vat of her philters large enough for ten warriors." He nodded toward where Niall's mother stooped, bedraggled blossoms already overflowing her slender arms.
The moment Declan ambled away, Caitlin turned to peer up at Niall, her eyes filled with hope and dread.
"Niall, I want to believe all Declan says is true as much as you do, but I cannot help mistrusting Conn. What kind of a chieftain would order an honorable man to kill an innocent woman as some sort of perverse test of honor?"
Niall closed his eyes, remembering countless times he had caught Conn watching him with hooded eyes, the weight of the chieftain's handcupping Niall's shoulder as he praised the outcast murderer's son when others scorned him. Always, Conn had seemed to recognize in Niall some merit no one else saw. And even as a boy, Niall had sensed the chieftain treasured that elusive "something" hidden inside him.
"What kind of man would test me in such a way?" Niall echoed, warmth flooding through him. "A man who knew me better than I know myself. He must have guessed I would not hurt you."
"Guessed?" Caitlin exclaimed. "If he had lost the wager, he would have paid with my blood. This was no game, Niall, no diversion to while away a boring day. Lives were in peril. Yours as well as my own. If you had done as Conn commanded, it would have destroyed you."
Unease curled in Niall's belly, but he shoved it back "I did not kill you. Nothing was lost."
"Nothing?" Caitlin exclaimed, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. "You spent the past weeks devoured by guilt, in a torment of uncertainty! I know. I saw. I will never forget it."
"Do you think I care about that now? Look at what I gained in return! A love I never dared hope for. I found my mother and sister again. Aye, and my father, in spirit. Whatever Conn'smotives were, whether he was wrong or right, does not matter. We can build a life together, all of us, at Daire. It is what you wanted, Caitlin. And you, Fiona."
Fiona's voice cracked. "I do not care about Daire. Look!" she cried, casting her clump of dirt to the ground. "I have emptied my hands of it forever."
"But you will never empty your heart of it," Niall said, touching her cheek "And neither will I. I have to take this chance to make things right, Fiona. Can you not understand? If I do not return to Glenfluirse, present myself to Conn, we will never know for certain if we are safe."
"Niall, do not ask me to watch you go back to that—that devil's lair! It will swallow you up the way it did before. And I... I will be alone."
Curse the girl's dignity! Niall swept her up in a fierce hug. "I have only just found you again, wee one," he murmured against her hair. "You will never be alone."
It was the same promise his father had made to him so long ago, Niall realized with a start. The only vow to him Ronan the Brave had ever broken.
"Fine, then, you—you stubborn, ox-headed fool!" Fiona's fingers dug fiercely into his waist asshe clung to him. "We will all go to Glenfluirse together."
His gut clenched. If he was so certain all was well, why did he suddenly feel such dread? There was a simple reason, Niall acknowledged grimly. He had a difficult knot to untangle with Conn when first he arrived at the fortress.
Even if all Declan said was true and Conn did welcome Niall with the open arms of a father, it would not change one thing. Niall had lied to Caitlin, to Fiona, and to himself moments before.
He could forget the pain he had felt the past weeks, but he could not so easily forgive the torment Conn's game had put Caitlin through. The terror, the disillusionment, the despair. Only her rare courage had enabled her to survive, but brave as she was, she would never regain her total faith in the world. Some would call that loss of innocence unavoidable. A tragic necessity for anyone living.
Yet, knowing she had suffered that loss not through chance but rather by design or selfish carelessness, in a game... that was a transgression he could not so easily forgive.
"You are not going to Glenfluirse," Niall said, stroking his sister's cheek. "With your unguarded tongue, you would land yourself in trouble theinstant you entered the gates. Besides, someone must tend the gardens and watch over the start of our new herd, or we will be gnawing withered parsnips again when winter comes."
"I do not care!" she cried, thumping her small fist against his chest.
"Aye, you do care, Fiona. About the earth and growing things, the cows and the castle. You will tend to it all while I am away, and when I return in triumph, I will be amazed by all you have done."
"Nay!" Fiona cried. "Do not leave me again!"
Niall winced at the memory of the day Conn's warriors had ridden away from Daire—Niall clutching the waist of Conn himself, while Ronan, bound and bleeding from a gash on his head, had struggled to cast a smile back at his tiny daughter. Had their father known even then he would never see that winsome, wee face again?
Fiona had chased after the horses as they thundered out of the castle yard, shrieking Niall's name.My brvwer... give him back! The last thing Niall had seen was Fiona sprawling in the dirt, sobbing.
He cradled her close, stroking her fiery, damp hair, comforting her as he had not been able to solong ago. "I will only be gone for a little while, Fiona."
"Nay! I will not let you go!" Fiona cried out, pulled away, turning her back to him.
Niall swallowed hard, feeling her pain, the old pain and the new. "I know when I left last time, Mother was lost in the mists of her grief. You felt alone. This time, you will not be. Caitlin will stay with you at Daire."
Caitlin's eyes flashed panic. "Nay. I go with you, Niall. We face whatever the fates decree together."
"When all is settled and the time is right, you will be welcomed into Glenfluirse with the glory befitting Fintan's daughter."
