“Oh, not with a pistol or a blade, of course, but he is the one responsible for her death. He killed her with cruelty! He killed her.” John’s eyes widened to the bloodshot whites.
“What are you talking about?”
John sneered, folding his arms across his chest. “Before your wretched father married your mother, he seducedmy dear sister. He put a child in her, promised her the world, promised her love, but when… she lost the baby, your devil of a father abandoned her. It was just a week before their wedding. Told her that if she couldn’t keep a baby, she wouldn’t be able to give him an heir, so he needed a better wife.
“My sister took her own life on what would have been her wedding day. Threw herself into the Thames on a winter’s night. She washed up on shore, and… I had to lie to protect her. I had to say it was a tragic accident. I had to pretend that I didn’t know the vile cur and the actions that had driven her to kill herself.”
Philip’s throat tightened.
“She was grieving her lost child, and he did that to her,” John snarled. “He layered grief upon grief, and she could not bear it. Now, that grief is mine to carry, andthatis why I loathed him.Thatis why I can barely stand to look at your face.”
Nausea twisted Philip’s insides into knots. Of course, he had more experience of his father’s wickedness than most, but to drive a woman to such an end was… beyond despicable.
“He was obsessed with heirs,” John muttered. “Continuing his bloodline. As if he was anything worth perpetuating, the bastard.”
“I am sorry,” Philip managed to rasp, though it would never be enough. “I am sorry his cruelty was not reserved only for me, as I am sorry he ever met your sister and my mother. He did not kill her in the same way, but he made it so that she had no desire to live. Drained her of her light and her spirit until it made her sick.”
He did not speak of his mother to anyone. It hurt too much to think of her, how small and withered she had been in the end, how ruined she had been by the man she had married.
John frowned. “I pitied her.”
“As did I,” Philip replied. “But I am not my father and never will be. Indeed, I mean to take care of your daughter. I would harm myself before I ever harm her.”
The smallest nod tipped John’s head forward. “I pray for all our sakes that you are genuine.”
“I am.” Philip sniffed. “Now, if you will excuse me, my betrothed is in there, waiting to dance with me.”
He walked past John, more to hide the emotion on his face than to actually return to the ball. And as he entered the chaos of it all, he found he was more resolved than ever to never bring childreninto the world, on the off-chance that some of his father’s blood would slip into their veins. A poison that he would not risk creating.
“Where did you go?” Selina asked as she whirled in Philip’s arms.
This time, there were other dancers on the dance floor. A beautiful ensemble of a waltz that somehow felt more private, being one among many.
“I was just taking some fresh air,” Philip replied stiffly.
He had not been himself since he came back in from the terrace. She had asked him if something was wrong. He had insisted that there was not, yet his behavior suggested otherwise.
“Is it the ball? Do you really want everyone to go?”
Philip shook his head. “It is not the ball. It is nothing at all. I am just thinking about how we shall prepare for the wedding in such a short time.”
“We canpostpone it,” she offered.
“No, my bride. I do not want to postpone it.” He gazed at her, and there was real warmth in his eyes.
Is it something I did? Did someone say something to him? Were we seen?
Countless possibilities stampeded through her head, so much so that she lost her footing.
Philip caught her and swept her into a new turn, as if nothing had happened. “Are you well? Is it the heat in here?”
“I am a little dizzy,” she said, “but I shall make it to the end of the set.”
He smiled at her, and her worries ebbed.
Perhaps with so much happiness just within her grasp, she was looking for reasons as to why it might be taken away from her.
