Then I watch the stars light up the sky through the dusty window.
Once upon a time, I would have tried to make myself feel better. Tried to tell myself that, once the next big hurdle is out the way, I’d be fine. I don’t bother anymore. The panic still comes, so what's the point?
Forcing my lungs to take deep breaths, I shove myself tostand and strip off. I need to bathe. Being in water always helps the panic lesson. I think it’s why being out on the open ocean felt like the right decision.
Why being in that lake with Tally felt so right.
Chapter Twenty
TALLY
It’s late by the time I make it upstairs. Even with leaving Tina and the others to close up for me, it’s late enough that most normal people would be asleep by now. I want to be asleep– exhaustion rests heavy on my shoulders and the thought of laying on a soft pillow sounds like heaven.
I debate whether to leave Cyrus alone tonight. The thought of leaving her be riots around my head on my way upstairs.
Until, somehow, I end up right outside her door.
There’s still low light from a candle peaking out from under the door. Fuck it, we said we’d see each other tonight. I’ll knock, if she answers, great. If not, I’ll go to bed on my own. No biggie.
Not a problem at all.
Heart thumping in my ears, I raise my fist to knock on the door. Gently at first –barely audible to me let alone her– before giving a louder thump.
There’s an unusual lump in my throat as I wait. Sweat licking across my palms, I start to realise I’m nervous. I’mseeing the woman I’ve fucked twice before andnowI get nervous.
Time seems to slow as I wait for Cyrus to open the door. The seconds seem to take minutes, until I come to the realisation that she's probably asleep. Just accidentally left her candle lit before sleeping.
My heart falls to the bottom of my stomach– rolling around aimlessly in my gut making me feel nauseous.
A weird and unique sensation of sadness rolls over me.
Maybe it is a little problem.
Forcing a deep breath and slowly releasing it, I take a step back and try to force myself away from the door. I barely move my foot before the door creaks open the tiniest of bits.
Cyrus’s eye pops around the corner just enough for me to see the glinting deep sea blue. An instant wave of relief fills my limbs. Followed by exhaustion.
I don’t even care if we fuck tonight, just knowing she opened the door for me is enough.
From the slither of her face I can see, I see the corner of her lip flick into a small smile before she contains it. Then she opens the door wide enough for me to slip through– still hiding herself behind the heavy wood.
It isn’t until she closes it I realise why.
Her bare body glows under the soft light from the gas lamp. Her dark nipples already pebbled, her thighs shimmering wet. My mouth instantly watering from the sight of her.
My thighs grow damp with my arousal. Heat and tension growing tight in my stomach. Forget what I said about wanting to go straight to sleep. This. This is what I want. Why did I even think about sleep?
“Already naked for me, dove?”
Her shoulders lift gently before falling, “I started to think you weren't coming. I was going to get ready for bed.”
My eyes flick to her dripping thighs. There’s no way that’s purely from awaiting me, especially if she thought I wasn’t coming.
“And you thought you’d take your pleasure into your own hands?”
A soft blush of colour blooms over the apples of her cheeks and her chest. The colour is delicious. I want to lick across the reddened skin, watch as it grows even darker.
She shrugs her shoulders again. “I didn’t think you were coming.”
