Mabel was right when she spoke to me earlier, I’m not in love with Amara. I love her, yes, but as a sister, my best friend. When Mabel asked me to picture myself with Amara and all I could see was Tally, it made it ridiculously clear how much I’d been a fool. It’s so obvious, it’s frustrating it took someone to tell me what I’m feeling, for it to become clear.
In the space of a few hours, since that chat, I feel like a different person. Stepping back onto this island gave me back a piece of my soul I thought I’d lost. Thoughts and feelings that had been lost to me for months, sprang back to life in my chest. The cavity behind my ribs doesn’t feel so empty anymore. It feels like my heart is back where it belongs.
Now, I just need to figure out a way to give it to Tally, without her wanting to murder me for the pain I put her through.
Amara sighs at the head of the table, before walking around to me and clasping her hand on my shoulder. She bends down and talks directly into my ear, so only I can hear her. “Leave her alone tonight, but I bet she’ll be willing to talk soon. Maybe get your grand gesture ready.”
My muscles lock and veins turn to ice. With wide eyes I turn to face her. “How do you–”
“You think Mabel would keep it a secret?” She sits in the seat to my left, straddling her legs around the back rest and stares straight into my soul. “We had a bet going– once I woke up from my mini coma– seeing how long it would take you to get together with Tally and if we needed to meddle to get it to happen. It didn’t take long to realise, it had already happened whilst I was out cold.”
“You had… a bet?” I stammer, that pesky lump back in my throat.
She smirks. “Of course I fucking did. You weren’t yourself before we left, and when we did leave you were awful. Don’t think I didn’t notice. Mabel told me she helped you figure out you're actually in love with Tally, before we got here.” If Mabel told Amara about the conversation, did she happen to mention that I thought I was in love with Amara too? “I know something else happened in that conversation, that she won’t tell me about, but I’ll let you keep some secrets. I’ll figure them out eventually. That’s half the fun.”
She winks at me and I gulp, throat struggling to allow any words to escape. At least she doesn’t know that I thought I was in love with her romantically for years. Not yet at least.
She taps my shoulder again as she gets up, grinning at something over my shoulder. I follow her eye line to seechaotic auburn curls– it wasn’t something she’s grinning at, rather someone.
“Get some rest, figure out what you need to say, apologise, and maybe throw in a gift too. If I ever piss Mabel off, a gift always goes a long way to get her back on my side.”
Then she’s off, leaving me at this table all alone.
Taking her advice, I get up and head to the back of the tavern. Tracing the familiar steps up to the inn and finding my room. The exact same room I was in the last time we were here.
Unlocking the door gives me the sight of a room that hasn’t changed in three months. The moonlight pouring in from the window, spilling over the familiar double bed, where me and Tally spent most nights tangled up together.
Blowing a raspberry with my lips, I trudge into the room and flatten myself against the mattress, hoping for a whiff of Tally to be emitted from the covers. I’m not so lucky, just gifted the scent of fresh sheets.
Staring at the ceiling, I work on the words I need to prepare, to make myself worthy of a second chance.
Hoping this time, I won’t be the one getting rejected, even if I deserve it.
Amara’s advice helped. I laid in bed until the early hours of the morning, staring at the ceiling and rehearsing my apology to Tally. Eventually sleep overtook, but apparently my dreams caught on to how important it was to make amends, and I dreamt of how talking to her would actually go.
This morning I got up and ate a meagre breakfast, before the nerves in my stomach said no more.
Now I’m loitering out front of the inn, in hopes that Tally will pass and be willing to talk.
It’s frankly pathetic, but I’m willing to look pathetic as shit, if it means she’ll come talk to me. I’ll do just about anything, if it gets me a chance to talk to her again. I’m somewhat prepared when she comes out the tavern doors. Her hair, long and loose, shines in the early morning light. Rich skin glistening and contrasting beautifully with her pale yellow dress and trusty brown leather boots.
She’s stunning, the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.
Summoning the withering remains of my courage, I leave my station against the wall and walk up to her. “Tally.”
Her head snaps to me and everything I thought I had prepared, flies out of my head. I’m left awestruck.
Her gaze turns vicious as I melt under her gaze.
Crossing her arms, she pins me in her stare. It’s pointed– heated– but there’s nowhere else I want to be. “What do you want?”
For the first time ever, I willingly let my walls down. Letting a small, timid smile portray how happy I am that she’s talking to me, even if it’s full of tension.
All the thoughtful things I planned to say, do not make it past my lips. “Can we talk, please?”
She huffs with an eye roll, before throwing a hand out in a ‘continue’ gesture.
When wracking my empty skull for even a fraction of what I had planned to say, comes up with nothing, I freestyle what I need to say. “I’m sorry for how–”
