Then the panic sets in again.
My steps start to falter as my heart rate picks up. However my features remain set in place.
What if she died whilst I was out checking out another woman? What if she declined further and I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye?
What if she woke up and I wasn’t there to help?
Tally senses my spiral and grabs my hand. The smirk is no longer on her face, instead a small smile blooms across her lips. “We’ll go in the back, ditch the dirty clothes and go check on her. Then I’ll show you to your room. Okay?”
I nod.
I want to respond, but the lump in my throat won’t move enough to allow me.
Focusing on putting one foot in front of the other we make it inside the back door. Tally takes the blood soaked clothes from my arms with a quiet, “Wait here,” before disappearing through another door. She returns moments later– minus the sodden clothes– and now wearing a long coat that's far too big for her.
She twirls, grinning wide. “What do you think?”
I let out a huff. “That thing dwarfs you.”
With a roll of her eyes she grabs my hand again. “It’s my Dad’s, but he doesn’t need it right now.”
We weave through the throngs of people buzzing around. It seems the time away gave everyone a chance to come in and get seen by Doc.
Sweet aromas fill the air, covering the stench of death just below it.
When we enter the tavern, it's been converted into two different sections. One side is full of patients being treated by Doc and a few others. The other side has a full spread of food.
In the very centre is the table that Amara was laid out on.
Empty.
It’sfucking empty.
My heart instantly drops to my feet. My ears rush with blood and I fear I’ve forgotten how to breathe. No. Why isn’t she there? She can’t be dead. We weren't gone that long, sowhy isn’t she there?
Tally follows my line of vision and when she sees the table empty she winces. Great, so I’m not the only one assuming the worst.
When Doc sees us from across the room he smiles, not a sympathy smile, a fully fledged grin. Even with blood streaked across his face and arms the bastard is grinning.
His gaze flicks to the empty table before falling back on me. “She’s stable, Henri carried her to a room not long ago. She’ll be okay.”
“Has she woken up yet?” Tally asks, picking up on my inability to speak.
He shakes his head. “No, but she’s alive. She needs a lot of rest. Mabel’s with her.”
My heart cracks again. She’s with the one she loves. That needs to be good enough for me.
I nod and turn away. I need to sleep this day away. Sleepthe whole experience away. Luckily my lack of words is nothing new, so no one picks up on the fact I’m falling apart on the inside.
Except for Tally, who’s footsteps follow behind me as I walk to the room I’ll be claiming for the next few days. Picking the one furthest away from everyone, I kick open the door and enter. Only for Tally to follow behind me.
I turn to glare at her, although all she gives me in return is another small smile. “Did you need anything? Food? A drink?”
I shake my head. All I want is to sleep and forget.
Then my gaze catches on her bare legs, partially hidden under the long coat and maybe, just maybe, I’m allowed a distraction to help me forget. Just this once I can do something for me.
“Stay.”
