“I think I’m ready to stop using this as punishment,” she said.
“What do you want to use it for?”
“To remember that I came back.”
Her reason felt larger than the paper. I did not reach for it.
“This is yours,” I said.
Dani looked at the bib. Then she placed it in the file section of the mail system we had created. Not hidden. Not displayed. Filed.
“Very you,” she said.
“Very healthy.”
“Let’s not exaggerate.”
She smiled. The night ended without a race decision. That mattered.
My promotion interview took place Thursday at three. The interview panel included my manager, a regional director, and a vice president whose calendar appeared to permit emotions only in fifteen-minute increments. I wore a navy suit, the silver watch, and low heels. The old version of me would have spent the entire morning rehearsing the correct answers. I prepared. I did not script. There was a difference. The role involvedmanaging three analysts, leading client strategy, and supporting two major accounts during quarterly reporting periods.
The vice president described the expected availability as “flexible.”
I asked what that meant.
He said, “Responsive.”
I asked what responsive meant.
He said, “Available when the business needs you.”
I asked for average weekly hours during peak and nonpeak periods. My manager looked proud. The vice president looked inconvenienced. The regional director answered. Fifty-five to sixty hours during peak periods. Forty-five otherwise. Occasional weekends. The number was not impossible. It was also more than I wanted to surrender without negotiation.
“What support is available to prevent peak periods from becoming permanent?” I asked.
The vice president leaned back.
“This is a leadership role.”
“Yes.”
“Leadership requires commitment.”
“I agree. Sustainable leadership also requires staffing, priorities, and defined escalation.”
Silence followed. My pulse moved beneath the watch. I wanted the title. The salary increase. The proof that careful people could still advance. I also wanted long runs on Saturday. Dinner with Dani. Time that did not belong to an employer simply because I had once been praised for being easy to rely on.
The regional director asked, “What boundaries would you need?”
Boundariesmade me think of the fake-dating agreement, Dani laughing at my categories, and rule ten: dates are allowed to be inefficient.
“I can commit to defined peak periods,” I said. “I can support occasional urgent work outside normal hours. I cannot commit to open-ended availability as a permanent expectation.”
The vice president wrote something. Possibly not sufficiently ambitious. I continued.
“I also believe the team will perform better with clear coverage and workload planning. I would build that into the role.”
The regional director smiled. The interview continued. When it ended, certainty did not arrive. Only the relief of having answered as the person I wanted to become rather than the person most likely to be selected. Outside the conference room, my phone showed four messages. One from Tessa.
